Vacation, Have to Get Away

Felt I needed an impromptu break after doing the same things--work-related stuff—for several consecutive days. I was able to sneak in some time to watch TV and some DVDs. I deserve some rest, I thought, so when the opportunity presented itself, I became a couch potato for almost three days. Got a stiff neck later because of long hours just watching and surfing the net. Aside from that, I was also thinking about life, death, work, sex, love, food and trivial stuff. It’s one of those moods again.

Been reflecting about my life now, where it’s been and where it’s headed, how I’m feeling undecided between wanting to do something entirely different job-wise, and pursuing more familiar routines. While solving a long and complicated mystery with Jack Bauer, I was also thinking about how I should budget my week’s meal money, how problematic some relatives’ situations have become, the need to call back some people, and emailing others regarding payment for a few magazine contributions.

Been restless on my bed these past few nights too; sometimes I just can’t sleep immediately. But I like how the bed is spacious, and sleep-time is when I think about people precious to me. Every time the semblance of a prayer, a thought wishing for safety, forms, I just feel at ease. I do think about and hope for tranquility and peace, while hugging a gradually deflating pillow. I’m reminded of stuff I do on my bed, and the activity it’s seen, but I haven’t really been thinking about that lately.

I’ve been wondering about how short the days have been feeling for me. I used to be able to fit in everything I could in a day. Now, I’ve been procrastinating with a number of things. I do have a few things I really wanna get done, things that require starting almost from scratch, like a new comic book that’ll give me as much personal satisfaction as my first one. I want to paint again. But those things require concentration and long hours, which have been eluding me these past couple of months (hence, some unreturned phone calls). I really need to reorganize again.

I need to read more of the comics sourcebooks I bought in the past six months, which are, collectively, half-read at this point. Work eats up most of my hours now. It’s been irregular but hectic, and no, I’m not complaining. It’s just that I feel like a zombie between doing serious jobs, and I just, understandably, switch off after them. I dance in my chair, eat unhealthy food, forget to exercise, admire things I can’t afford, and just zone out while I can.

But I’m still distracted. Eh. I need to plan.