Life Serial

Three things I’ve learned about people in the last couple of years, and consequently, stuff I learned about myself:

1. I feel truly indebted to only a handful of people.

I’ve come to the realization that there are people I can never repay for whatever kind of support they’ve given me all these years. And as much as I hate owing anyone anything, I have nothing but gratitude and endless thanks to those who have lent a hand during troubled times. A few relatives and friends can be counted within this distinction, as well as a few people from the occupational aspect of my life.

Thing is, in the past, there have been some people who feel that I owe them for whatever imagined favors. I find this kind of behavior puzzling, especially when I hear their sentiments through other people. I’ve always kept my distance from those I’ve nothing, or very little, in common with. Admittedly, I’ve had my share of whining about certain people in the past, but the cold, hard truth of the matter is, eventually, I had to grow up, accept that people often fall short of my expectations of them, and their lives don’t revolve around me.

I learned to keep work-related bonds professional. I pursue, and sometimes, make my own opportunities. I’ve worked at getting what I want, and continue to do so because no one else will do that for me. If certain people misconstrue and judge me for not acknowledging them, or feel that I’m not a nice enough person, then screw them. I don’t owe them anything.

2. Opinions are like butt holes.

Everyone’s got them. And that’s just the way it is. Well, I know how it feels like to be criticized by those who believe they’re better than me, in whatever it is I do. I used to feel upset about it, especially, since some 10 years ago, I was targeted by some poor schmuck, whose malicious dislike for me translated to awful things that passed for criticism of my work. I got over that, and accepted that there will be those who will say what they want, whether their views are intelligent or not, especially if you have something out that’s open to scrutiny. People will speak their minds, whether they’re being honest, or just feeling pompous (because, yes, some can’t accept that there are valid viewpoints other than their own).

It’s also easier now to discern which among the opinionated ones really know what they’re talking about. I believe now that listening to other people’s points is usually healthy for self-improvement, as well. And, however hard you may try, you just can’t please everyone. Tastes, preferences and mindsets will always differ from person to person. The reality of it is, you’ll see things that people can’t (or won’t) at some point, and vice versa.

Yep, butt holes.

3. Space is nice.

There are people I’ve met that I admire for a zillion different reasons, but I don’t have any desire to become real close friends with them, even when there have been opportunities that allow that. I can honestly say that I’ve outgrown many of my school friends, but I still respect them and wish them well, even when I don’t feel particularly concerned with them anymore. I suppose that’s pretty normal; my priorities, like theirs, have changed, just like our personalities and some predilections. I still feel a kinship with others who share my interests, in the fields I’m immersed in, but I’m okay with just being acquainted with them.

I’ve regretted pursuing some people, work-wise, and there were rare occasions when my relentlessness has been conceived as ill-timed or rude, even when I’ve been nothing but polite. I’ve discovered firsthand that some people can be such horrible assholes, who have no compunctions with humiliating you in front of others. But I don’t dwell on them anymore.

In recent years, “friendship” for me has evolved to define mutually beneficial transactions that don’t require deeper meaning or connotations. Sometimes, getting along is good enough. There are persons whom I communicate and work with, and things are just fine the way they are. We just have to respect each other’s boundaries. It’s convenient for both parties. Whatever works, I guess. And I appreciate them for being there.

Wings of Silver, Nerves of Steel

Archangel, one of my better-looking toys, from Toy Biz’s Marvel Legends-ish X-Men set, re-released last year. Was lucky I got this at the regular mall price.