Feet on Ground, Heart in Hand

I’ve often wondered about how my life would’ve been had circumstances been different early on. I was almost “switched” with another baby all those years ago. According to my mother, when I was about to be brought home from the hospital, a nurse misidentified me in the nursery and almost handed another child, who looked nothing like me at all. But it’s a good thing that my parents knew how I looked like. That story’s been told over and over with some amusement and I just smile every time it comes up. Maybe it’s because I’m grateful that I didn’t end up heaven knows where, and that despite the occasional growing-up problems, I consider myself fortunate to have such patient, loving parents.

They tried their darnedest to give me what I needed, and kept reminding me to value education. They hoped and prayed that I’d take my studies seriously, and to some extent, I can say that I did, despite a few serious bouts with boredom and an array of adolescent crises. School, for me, was sixteen years of routines, studded with various beautiful discoveries and unrelenting miseries. Throughout that time, my brain has gained and dumped an immeasurable amount of information, and it’s only after that long period of schooling that countless hours of problem-solving and gained knowledge would truly be put to the test.

But education never really ends, and chances are, making really tough decisions in the real world can make you appreciate that you have the basic gifts of literacy, comprehension, and access to special skills. I’m thankful for every day that I’m able to perform my duties. But there are many things that you have to experience for yourself, intricacies that were never really discussed in class. And you have to learn things about yourself, sometimes, to ascertain your own life’s direction, to find a real point in going on.

Sometimes, you learn that no matter how adept you are at handling disappointment, you still feel the pain of rejection or loss. But you just learn to move on or wait, and hope for the best. And when you disappoint those dearest to you, you just do your best to win them back and heal those wounds.

Sometimes, you learn to ignore those old teachings about charity and selflessness when you have barely enough for yourself. Still, you’ll surprise yourself when you give freely to those few you value the most, even when you have almost nothing left.

Sometimes, some of the biggest, most mind-blowing secrets are shared in intimate confessions that happen in dimly lit rooms. You get a sense of the bigger picture when you realize how things and people really connect behind the scenes.

And sometimes, you just have to have fun and experience some once-forbidden pleasures. You’ll make mistakes, sometimes consciously, but you’ll eventually examine flaws that you need to work on.

As far as learning technical abilities is concerned, it’s a wondrous age when you can read, hear and see the works of an infinite number of individuals in a number of venues. I’m constantly awed by certain bloggers, those gifted with a flair for evoking genuine reactions and transmitting picturesque ideas with the creative combination of words. I try to discern patterns from changing writing styles and different inner voices, just so I can figure out what makes them tick, and why they’re appealing to me. Wordsmiths, visual artists, tunesmiths, they all have something to teach and share. There are those concepts, thoughts, compositions and melodies that just appeal to my tastes and preferences. There are times that I’d just listen to conversations, or lurk at forums, and observe how people communicate. I become a sponge that quietly absorbs the oft-unwritten mechanics of those interactions.

Inspiration comes in many forms, and as the cliché goes, “I’ll stop learning when I’m dead.” Perhaps I’m writing this because I’m appreciating some blessings now--better late than never, I suppose--and that I’m glad to have been given opportunities to pursue my interests, to learn how to make this life a little easier.

I’m glad that they got a good look at me before I went to that hospital nursery, too.