Assembling Manual

Mixed media, March 2005 This is one of a few column illustrations I did for the current issue of Manual (April 2005). Also contributing are old Alamat-ers David Hontiveros (he wrote entertainment articles), Budjette Tan (he wrote a short story) and Bow Guerrero (he did a drawing that accompanies Budj's work).

Out of Body Experience

These days, when I look at my old written and illustrated works, I often surprise myself. I’m sure other creative people have experienced this. There are times when I find myself removed from the things I’ve done that I'm either pleasantly surprised or recoiling from works I’ve done in the past. I unearthed a ton of old photocopies of artwork months back and I was amazed to recall, not so suddenly, that I was responsible for them.

Perhaps it’s because I’m so concerned with the here and now that I forget. Old drawings or articles are outlets of the moment that I don’t really recall the intricacies of the process. It’s like snapping from a trance and moving on. I ask myself, “What the fuck was I thinking?” whenever I see something cringe-worthy, or, “Wow, I did this?” when I see something I like that I don’t remember doing.

I rarely congratulate myself, I guess. I used to be very competitive with others back in college; hell, I probably still am. But now it’s more of a personal, unspoken thing where I’m on a constant lookout for improvement. I did a comic book thesis, Dark Utopia, as a graduation requirement over a decade ago, and even then, I only liked a handful of the 75-plus pages I drew. Whenever I see those plates, I just shudder, but am also impressed with the decent ones nevertheless. Same with some written stuff I’ve rediscovered on bundles of scratch papers and old notebooks, or old published works.

It’s a strange but interesting feeling when, for instance, Benedict says a line from my comic book (Lexy...) word-for-word, or when I open the same book and I suddenly remember John telling me years ago to primarily focus on the story and characterization while I was conceptualizing. It’s like I’m déjà vu’ed into the mindset and sensory settings of the time. I don’t think aloud about things like artistic attitude or balls I’ve developed throughout the years, I suppose. So looking at my works from a distance, at certain opportunities that are rare these days, I’m barraged, amazed, and sometimes baffled that I’m capable of things.

And these things, I love doing. Sometimes I still have to take a moment to realize that, yeah, I got talents. And I’m still learning and growing.

Quick Thinks

1) After two months since the 7-character set was released, I was finally able to build a Marvel Legends Galactus figure at the regular department store price.

2) Robert Kirkman's Walking Dead is involving, creepy and depressing, if a bit predictable at times.

3) The new pope kinda looks like a certain Sith Lord.

4) I like the new band Milk n Money from the Graduation Day CD. Vocalist sounds like the middle sister of the Session Road frontwoman and Isha Abubakar.

5) I want some ice cream.

Peace Train Sounding Louder

Non-stop work, I’ve gotten to know these last couple of years, can prove quite stressful on many levels. The past several months have been a blur, and yet, I’ve avoided mental shutdown, because of things I like that distract me, and friends who have been very generous with me.

It was only about four months ago that I co-published and launched my own comic book, and I am still discovering that the project requires much attention, marketing and constant pimping on my part. Well, the work has gotten easier, because people have been telling me that it’s been selling itself, or word-of-mouth is doing its part, and it’s gotten generally good reception. But I’ve yet to talk to other shop owners, as I’ve been a bit sidetracked by the nature of my daily freelance work. I’ve accepted this nature long ago, and am working hard to keep everything workable for everyone. And I hope to get things that need doing done soon, I hope. I want more people to read my work.

The daily grind is complex enough without my personal crap getting in the way. I do my damnedest to separate all my work from whatever angsts and dissatisfactions I have with whomever, or whatever. And if such crap happens, it’s really difficult to make sense of a work day. These distractions happen sometimes, admittedly, because of my own fault.

But whatever drama happens—and I use the word “drama” as an over-simplification—I still have to grin and bear it, and do my own thing. It’s just so emotionally sapping to be disappointed and worried about people whose feelings I may have hurt, for whatever reason. Honestly, that’s one of the worst feelings ever, to have people you consider friends disappointed in you or vice-versa.

At this point in my life, I’m still learning how to communicate with people. And it’s good that my different jobs help me with that. There are unspoken politics when it comes to relationships that eventually need to be discussed and analyzed. There are people I regret being intimate with, but that’s just the way things evolve into, I suppose. There are problems I’d rather forget if I’ve done all I can to solve them. I move on when it suits me. I’m learning not to be vulnerable anymore.

Sometimes, though, I need to remind myself. And that’s why I’m writing about this now. Life is so short and fleeting and it just gets doubly stressful when scrutiny eats you up on a personal level. There will be more compromises to discuss and challenges to endure and surpass; I don’t doubt that. But I’m hoping, now that I have this tiny breather from work, that I’ll be given a break. I desperately need it.

Morgon the Stygian

Pencil drawing, March 1999

Jumbled Thought of the Minute

Got tons of things to do but all I really wanna do is go on a vacation somewhere cool because my self-imposed hiatus never happened 'cause freelance works just pop up and I can’t disappoint people I work with since they know I’m perfect for the job and all that so here I am blogging instead of making an organized list of things to do for the next week or so and I just wanna sleep and read and write and draw and eat and exercise more ‘cause I need to lose weight and be comfy again in my clothes like I’m comfy without them yeah and oh god I wanna swim even for only an hour and laugh and not worry ‘bout any real-world concerns like saving money and deadlines and I’m just feeling tense and horny and damn I wanna plow but I can’t right now 'cause I need to work again so I’ll have money to spend and squander at SM...

I Chose Two

Swiped this music quiz thingie from boi_bitch:

Choose a band/artist and answer only in SONG TITLES by that band: 10,000 Maniacs and Dar Williams
Are you male or female: Starman; When I Was a Boy
Describe yourself: Like the Weather; Party Generation
How do some people feel about you: Headstrong; Family
How do you feel about yourself: Gun Shy; Better Things
Describe your ex-b.f./g.f.: Few and Far Between; The Christians and the Pagans
Describe your current b.f./g.f: Everyone a Puzzle Lover; My Friends
Describe where you want to be: Eden; Spring Street
Describe what you want to be: Candy Everybody Wants; The One Who Knows
Describe how you live: I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You; Closer to Me
Describe how you love: Scorpio Rising; And a God Descended
Share a few words of wisdom: Let the Mystery Be; The World’s Not Falling Apart

Sneak Peeker

Image Comics' Blacklight #1 interior page, penciled by John Toledo and inked by Marc Deering. Available this June.

Killer New Wave

It's in music stores now, finally. Got myself a copy of The Killers' Hot Fuss album earlier. Whether you're a seasoned or recent New Wave listener, you should check this out, pronto. Been seeing the cool video for their first single the past couple of weeks. I've listened to the CD twice now, and for me, the band sounds like a strange but very audible cross between Modern English, The Cure, and Blue Zoo. Their melodies are very infectious and their lyrics are offbeat, both typically endearing New Wave traits. Very catchy stuff.

"Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis. But it's just the price I pay. Destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes, 'cause I'm Mr. Brightside!"
--The Killers, Mr. Brightside

Veddok

Pencil drawing, 2000

Fun Stories + Purty Pitchers = Yay!

Been reading a lot of borrowed comics lately. I immensely enjoyed Brian Vaughan's awesome Runaways, four issues of Dan Slott’s entertaining She-Hulk, and Linda Medley’s magical and feelgood Castle Waiting. These are some of the most creative titles I’ve read in a while. Thanks, McPiglet, for lending these memorable gems.

I’m on a self-imposed hiatus, which will probably last for a few days; I’m just relaxing and planning, and catching up on music, comics and TV stuff. I need a real vacation. Haven’t had one in years. And it’s so hot, I just wanna dip myself in a pool or tub filled with ice during the day.

Oh, before I forget, thank you to Niño Mark Sablan for including Lexy, Nance & Argus in his recommended gay reads last Wednesday in the 2BU section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. His brief blurb: "Eye-friendly drawings plus nod-inducing lines equals applause!" Thank you Mark! That's a very nice equation.

End of pimpage, for now. Back to more reading. Yay!

Embracing the Dark Side

I enjoyed the new Clone Wars animated series Benedict showed me so much that I couldn’t help it: I bought a few Revenge of the Sith action figures when I saw them at the mall this afternoon. I have General Grievous, Emperor Palpatine (with lightsabre), Shaak Ti, and Mace Windu. The Jedi-killing General Grievous can hold four lightsabers at once (theoretically, he can hold five… if you watch it ‘til the end, you’ll know what I mean). I also love Shaak Ti! She is one ass-kicking Jedi. Anyway, the toys aren’t as articulate or sturdy as any of the superhero/fantasy action figure lines today, but they’re just as damn expensive. And yeah, I’m weak, so I bought a few anyway. I still have some of the worn-out figures from the eighties, which were really popular with collectors back when the original trilogy was released in the country. They really look like relics now compared to their improved counterparts. I remember nagging my mom periodically to buy me Return of the Jedi toys, which were selling at an expensive 29 pesos each back then at Mini Dau in Parañaque. But they were worth it for me; I had fun recreating scenes and making up new ones with the characters that I had. And yes, these days, I'm still the toy geek. I open my toys and play with them (I don't do sound effects and battle scenes all afternoon anymore, though), and later display them in my humble, dust-gathering toy shelf.

Back to the cartoons: Genndy Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars is airing this week over Cartoon Network Asia, I think. The five remaining chapters are longer per installment (slightly over ten minutes each), and it focuses on Anakin’s Skywalker’s recent acceptance to Jedi Knighthood. It leads directly to Episode III: Revenge of the Sith next month. The action scenes are, to quote Anakin in Chapter 21, “Impressive. Most impressive!”. The young Jedi’s ominous vision in the final chapter was also nicely done. I like how Anakin looked with the temporary blue tatoos. The distracting thing about this shirtless look, though, as Benedict also pointed out, is Anakin's armpit hair. Weird-looking brown tufts, they were.

Sixteen

Simpler times. :)

Turning Points

Regret some intimacies. Regret regrets. Two lovers sharing one man.
Different needs, same goals. Be happy; be free. Be who you wanna be.
No tears are wasted. Stop showing vulnerability. Stop.
Stop, and you’ll see clearly. Hidden lives, no apologies.
Apologize until you’re not sorry. Sorry that things get cheap.
Cheap and downright sad. Dramas go bad, but this disaster’s averted.
Thank you for sharing. Sharing’s good. Orgasms for everybody.
Yummy, wild, drunk and free.
Free.

Purpleblur II

Pencil drawing, March 2005 Mystery spygirl Purpleblur has hypervelocity powers and martial arts skills that have proven useful in many covert missions. She has allied herself with the Cavalry, the Dozen Dynamos, and the Masked Maestros in the past, and is rumored to be one of the original Purpleblur's suprahuman descendants.

Darkstar? Umbra? Blacklight!

Blacklight # 1. Available this June! My pal John Toledo drew this. It's a new series from Image Comics. Reserve your copy at your favorite comic shop, now! Vinnie of Comic Quest, and Felix of Druid's Keep, please get the title. :) To view a larger version of the cover, click here.

Saturday Fun Machine

Went to Comic Quest Megamall last night to get Countdown to Infinite Crisis, the latest issues of Astonishing X-Men and Legion of Super Heroes, and Marco Dimaano’s newly launched book K.I.A. (Kai: Indomitable Assassin). It was cool to behold all those creative people at the launch together: Marco, Arnold and Cynthia Arre, Dean, Vinnie, Elbert, Jac, Jonas, Benedict, Camille Portugal, Joel Chua, and David Hontiveros! As a comics person, it's really gratifying to know that these writers and artists are doing different, inspired things for the love of the medium and related art forms.

Chatted a bit with Arnold about LNA. The guy generously gave nice comments about it again (Argus is his fave character!). Also talked a bit with Marco and later Jac, who had me draw the Kai character on a piece of paper with the other guests’ renditions. Benedict got some pig sketches too.

Was able to watch the new Clone Wars ep later, and I had Benedict take pics of me for my blog profile, both decent and silly ones.

The Valhallan Maiden

Pencil drawing, April 2000 (Click image to enlarge) Warrior goddess Gunn of the Valkyrjas’ tremendous physical and precognitive powers were halved after being exiled on Earth. But instead of returning to her homerealm when offered the chance, the Valhallan Maiden opted to fight alongside noble mortal fighters similar to those she used to bring to the haven of slain heroes.

Infernal Heat

It was so hot earlier today, or technically, yesterday. Ugh. Was drowsy for most of the afternoon and evening. Rambling... will probably rewrite this post later today. Or not.

Was part of a previously unannounced 30-minute round-table interview with Simple Plan (they're quite funny), and later, the planned interview with Avril Lavigne (she was okay) that lasted for about ten minutes.

The Crustacean

Pencil drawing, March 2005 Was feeling bleh yesterday, so to distract myself, I drew. This is one of two portraits of characters I was able to come up with.

The Crustacean was a second-tier member of the Cavalry, a crimefighter who retired after a distinguished stint in the early '80s. After ultimately failing at family life, he dons a new uniform and begins a costumed career anew, where he hopes his ability to manifest exoskeletal armor and weaponry will be put to good use again. But he now finds the team--and the demands of the job--very different from what he fondly remembers.

Quickie

Just a quickie list of highlights and stuff worth mentioning:

1) My best friend and LNA co-publisher John Toledo is penciler of the new Image title Blacklight, created and co-plotted by Jim Valentino (Shadowhawk, A Touch of Silver) and written by Scott Wherle (Micronauts). It’s being solicited for a June release, so place your orders now at your favorite comic shops, kids!

2) Saw the last ever Friends episode over Wowow last night. It was simpler than I expected, but it’s a decent ending nonetheless. Studio 23 is airing Joey tonight, I think.

3) I passed an AIDS test. “Non-reactive”, the result says. Yay, me!

4) Angel Season 5 starts this week, Studio 23 (I'm unsure of the day and time). First ep is written and directed by Joss Whedon.

5) Discovered that one of the popular motel chains has a VIP room whose walls have a jungle motif. But painted rather sloppily on the headboard area is a destroyed jet cockpit. Really. I dunno what kinks you can conjure up with that. Still, it's creative, if a bit morbidly funny.

6) Warner Music will be giving me a copy of The Best of Sixpence None the Richer. I love them. Thanks, Warner!

7) Borrowed lots of Bone, Mage, Castle Waiting, Battle Pope and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen issues and tpb’s from Benedict, and read the latest New Avengers (I have mixed feelings about it) and Young Avengers (I’m unimpressed, so far).

8) Pizza Hut and KFC were both open for deliveries during Holy Thursday and Good Friday. Yay!

Marleina

Pencil drawing, Dec. 1998

That's Me in the Corner...

The last time I ever attended Mass, if I'm not mistaken, was in 1997. At that point, I wasn't comfortable with the ideas being presented to me by religion anymore. Anyway, been surfing and found some interesting lists of disbelievers and doubters here, here, here and here. Hmm... Joss Whedon and Kurt Busiek are in there.
-------
Some celebrities on organized religion:

"I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.” -- Woody Allen, Rolling Stone, 1987

“Although the time of death is approaching me, I am not afraid of dying and going to Hell or (what would be considerably worse) going to the popularized version of Heaven. I expect death to be nothingness and, for removing me from all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism.” --Isaac Asimov, "On Religiosity," Free Inquiry

"I'm glad some people have that faith. I don't have that faith. If there is a God, a caring God, then we have to figure he's done an extraordinary job of making a very cruel world."
--Dave Matthews, US Magazine, June 1998

“I don't think there's anybody sitting in the sky watching you. You're on your own. All you have is other people around you, and how you treat them. I actually think that not having a focus on God would make life better, because there would be more of an imperative to be nice to each other. There would be no more brand-name wars over stuff, and pointless arguments over east side/west side, go-fight-win.” --Andy Richter, The Onion, Oct. 9, 2002

“The problem with Christianity is, they think everything is about outside forces, good and evil. With Christianity, there’s not a lot of inner work encouraged. I don’t like it that people don’t own up to the fact that every thought that we could possibly have, we’ve all had.”
--Tori Amos , Rolling Stone, June 25, 1998

All-Out Sexy Pimp Post (Updated Aug. 2005)

Thanks to the readers who have written about Lexy, Nance & Argus: Sex, Gods, Rock & Roll these past few months. Word of mouth has been very, very helpful. It's still available at Pride Exchange in Malate, Druid’s Keep in Magallanes, and Comic Quest Festival Mall, Megamall and SM North. Thanks to the people who bought, shared and blogged about it, and to Pulp Magazine for using my announcement in their Jan.-Feb. 2005 issue. Here’s another set of reviews, comments and excerpts from recent feedback.
------------
“A sexy yet intellectual comic book that pulls no punches...”
--Icon Magazine, April 2005

“…Winning comic book lines…”
--FHM, May 2005

"Oliver just released his labor of love, Lexy, Nance & Argus: SEX GODS, ROCK & ROLL, an insightful, sexy, and well-written oversized comic book about love, life and gender identity. His flair and honesty in pushing the gay agenda is evident in one of the strongest Filipino comic books of the past few years. And yes, he wrote and illustrated it all, the bastard."
--Dean Alfar, Siglo: Freedom, The Lost (deanalfar.blogspot.com, Jan. 3, 2005)

“Its racy visuals serve to complement Oliver’s in-your-face writing, deliciously revealing his takes on the complex realm of alternative sexuality and lifestyles.”
--Carlo Vergara, One Night in Purgatory, Ang Kagila-gilalas na Pakikipagsapalaran ni ZsaZsa Zaturnnah (carverhouse.blogspot.com, Jan. 6, 2005)

“I really enjoyed Lexy. It's one of the best comics I've read from the local scene.”
--David Hontiveros, Avatar, Pantheon, via email

"I loved your comic book and have, in fact, started a letter to you telling you about it. Hindi ko mahanap right now, but I want you to know that I think your work is brilliant! And the characters are people you start to care about."
--Dr. Margie Holmes, via email

"Hey, just finished reading your comics... it could be a good material for a sitcom or a film. Very Western. May hidden anger yung mga characters. I hope the Filipino readers would appreciate such a progressive endeavor... Very real! I like it! :)"
—Andoy Ranay, via SMS

"Unlike anything else out there, Lexy, Nance & Argus, which first ran in Pulp Magazine, features the very graphic (read: nudity and very sexual situations) adventure of three friends: the gay Lexy, lesbian Nance and the seemingly straight Argus. This book is not for the unadventurous. A visually elaborate chronicle of Generation X's alternative tribe, the compiled black and white strip is gimmicky and sentimental in parts but is certainly unambiguous in its storytelling. An acquired taste that brims with catchy dialogue, Lexy, Nance & Argus is also strictly for adult readers only -- a distinction that should be taken seriously."
--Ruel S. De Vera, Philippine Daily Inquirer, March 20, 2005

“The comic book is much more frank than the serials in Pulp, since the added material presents more risque images and expands the trio’s discussions on relationships, religion, sexuality and pop culture with a wry sense of humor. Hindi pambata ang ganitong babasahin bagama’t nakadaragdag ito sa pagpapalawak ng pag-unawa sa iba pang kasapi ng ating lipunan na may ibang pananaw sa buhay… Who knows, with characters this interesting and fun, we may soon see Lexy, Nance and Argus in the big screen. ”
--Vives Anunciacion, Inquirer Libre, January 17, 2005

"Naririyan ang bagong Lexy, Nance and Argus: Sex, Gods and Rock and Roll ni Oliver Pulumbarit at ang One Night in Purgatory (2001) ni Carlo Vergara, na hindi lamang mga dilinyasyon ng karanasan ng Bakla sa nagbabagong lipunan kundi patuloy na paggigiit ng pagtutol sa mga pagkakahon o isteryotipo… May ilang pagtukoy ang mga ito sa kulturang popular at kosmopolitang pamumuhay (lifestyle) na kinikilala natin na atin sa kasalukuyan. Sa pangkabuohan, maituturing na ang mga ito bilang matagumpay na bahagi ng pagsusulong ng kamalayang Bakla sa lipunang Filipino na nagsimula sa Unang Sigaw ni Tony Perez.
--Louie Jon Sanchez (sarikulay.blogspot.com, Feb. 7, 2005)

"Also on stands is Oliver Pulumbarit's Lexy, Nance, and Argus, which is selling really well, and rightfully so. It means people are recognizing the book for the good read that it is. And if you are one of those who've yet to check it out, well, go now, quickly, because there's only a limited number of copies left of this important piece of pop culture that you're sorely missing out on. "
---Elbert Or (mars4.blogspot.com, Feb. 1, 2005)

"Boi_bitch suggests… reading Oliver Pulumbarit’s amazing comic book, Lexy, Nance & Argus: Sex, Gods, Rock & Roll. "
--Chris Eugenio (chrisvstheuniverse.blogspot.com, Feb. 16)

"Finished reading your comic… you’ve got talent, dude. The characters were real and not stereotypical. Nice message you’re sending out. Would be a nice indie movie, I think…”
--Mon Serrano, Club Government, via SMS

"Ang galing talaga... Not your usual comic book na after mong basahin itatago mo na lang ulit or babasahin na lang pag napagtripan. Kahit walang budget, binili ko pa rin ang comic book... at hindi naman talaga ako nagsisi, kasi bukod sa kaaliw ang mga story, makaka-relate ka sa mga character. Very interesting ang mga topic every strip… Sana magkaroon pa ito ng kasunod na edition. Two thumbs up ka talaga sir Oliver Pulumbarit..."
--Jaime Q., via email

“Just got a copy. Astig ka po. Congrats at salamat din... P.S.: Ingat ka baka ipa-ban ka ng Catholic Church. Hehe.”
--Martha Casantosan, via email

"I enjoyed your book a lot - sexy, funny, smart, very contemporary, even polemical, with lots of courage and heart."
--Eric Julian Manalastas, via email

Jovialan Cityscape

Pencil drawing, 1998
This was the first time I ever did a three-point perspective drawing. It was actually a panel taken from a sequential page that featured a few of my old characters and ideas.

Bats Vs. Hornhead

Pencil drawing, Jan. 1999 (Click image)

Oblivious

He drops his half-empty cup on the coffee shop floor.
He seems oblivious of the mess he made.
He doesn’t really think it’s a mess to begin with.
Just part of a life that’s less than eighty years short.

He calls every lover his beautiful one.
He calls them up and sweet-talks ‘til the day is gone.
He’s got a whole network of consistent lies.
When the night comes, he’s the luckiest one.
He thinks, “I don’t care if God is Love is Blind.
I just know that my feelings are honest and I’ll take whatever I find.”

Break no hearts. He’s alone even when he’s not.

She sneaks into the room while smiling in the dark.
She nearly knocks over her large figurine shelf.
She washes herself up and cries while the water drowns her tears.
It’s a routine she’s gotten used to for almost two years.

She doesn’t speak to her spouse that much anymore.
But she needs him to feel reassured.
She feels protected and lovely but yes, a little bored.
She thinks, “I love you even when I’m loving him too.
I just have a big heart and I know that Life is a Beach and it’s Short.”

Break no hearts. She’s alone even when she’s not.

We wanted to share secrets, and in time we did.
Sorry tales of broken hearts, our own and old flames’.
We felt a spark and we never held back.
We made new secrets and called each other new names.
We’re guilty but we’re not heartless. So we reassure each other:
“We’re friends. More than that sometimes. Our Time is Gold is Up.
But we’re together even when we’re alone.”
And we smiled when you slipped on a discarded coffee cup.

Wolvie, sans Adamantium

Pencil drawing, Feb. 2000 (C'mon, click it)
My interpretation of Logan, premier feral mutant, when he sported bone claws.

Sharkie

Mixed media, 2002
Jervis "Sharkie" Thwacker searches the oceans for the Automaton Body, a gigantic construct designed to connect with his ancient but advanced vehicle. They form one of the few weapons against an impending interstellar attack. In the meantime, Sharkie uses his other newfound weapon, the Quardent (a four-pronged undersea spear) to protect surface-dwellers from sinister marine warrior-tribes.

Perfect Clarity

"I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of:
You.
...I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, 'I love you', it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are."

--Spike to Buffy (“Touched”, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 7)

Archduke Nautilus

Pencil drawing, Dec. 1998
Archduke Nautilus of the Seaelves is a long-lived ruler who has a funky trident that he rarely uses in battle. It's a requirement: Sea kings = macho pitchforks for show. Just check out the action figures of Aquaman, Namor, and Mer-Man.

White and Warm

Can’t wait to touch it.
Flash that naughty smile.
Can’t wait to grab you.
Work that magic spell.
Unzip and it makes you
Hard and oh-so-swell.

Your ecstacy’s white and warm.
You work your sly, roguish charm.
Your ecstacy’s white and warm.
Deliver me from harm.

Can’t wait to taste it.
Shed your clothes and your weekday manners.
Can’t wait to grip you.
Weave that spell you know so well.
Take it in and it makes you
Gasp and oh-so-swell.

Our ecstacy’s white and warm.
Pry, pin down, spill like a storm.
My ecstacy’s white and warm.
Your soul so bright disarms.

Hidden holes discovered.
Quivering flesh uncovered.
Sprayed, splayed, strength recovered.

White, warm, touch it, taste it.
White, warm, spread it, feel it.
White, warm, our hands a-shaking.
White, warm, our tongues a-playing.

Never a Question

Never saw retarded ants. Where are they hiding?
Not that I care; they’re insignificant to me.
But sometimes I’m just a retarded ant.
Insignificant and so out of the loop.
Asking questions, so removed from any group.
Asking you, asking me.
Just asking:

Which Jesus are you selling? Which one should I be buying?
Which world am I living in? Why is there so much crying?
Where are we going after our personal hells?
Why are some of my prayers like wishing wells?

Surviving each day brings a smile to my face.
We’re all selling, pimping and whoring.
But sometimes I just feel like breaking down.
Breaking down and lashing out.
Asking questions aloud, for my sanity.
Just asking:

Which agendas are you selling? Why should I believe you?
Should I even praise you? What’ll happen if I don’t?
Who died and made you king? Did your deity teach you how to gloat?
Does redemption mean I can’t cast my own vote?
Why am I happy with myself? Why should I feel blue?
Why do you think I’m cheating on you?
Do you forgive me? Do I care?
Who’s puppeteering this Truth or Dare?
Is there truth to your recycled words?
Are we on the same page? Is your vision just blurred?
Which intrusive rumors have you heard?
Whose is bigger? Who made you come?
How can someone so smart be so distressingly dumb?

Just a retarded ant, asking.
I know some answers, but I’m not sharing.

Nomad

Busy Saturday: Watched Robots with Benedict at Glorietta early in the afternoon. Went to Shang via MRT to eat lunch immediately after. Walked to Megamall to his parked car. He brought me to the NBC Tent at the Fort to meet up with Mark Dy and hand him copies of LNA. Went to Megamall again after to buy some comics and cake. Went to Benedict’s house and ate it, then watched Futurama’s “Jurassic Bark” episode (a sad, sad one). Just crashed on his bed a bit after; it was a tiring but fun day. And then I went home with borrowed VCDs of the 9th season of Friends.

The past two days have been busy too. Been drawing again for a magazine. Also talked to Benjamin, who shared interesting reactions from different readers he gave copies of my comic book to. Which reminds me, must also replenish some Comic Quest outlets; just found out that some branches just ran out of LNA.

Melquiora

Mixed Media, 2002 (Click away)
Machinesmith Lora Vogel is the latest in a long line of protectors that has wielded the Mallet of Saad, a weapon created by a highly evolved presence from another galaxy. She patrols space as “Melquiora” with the help of the Lunarsteed, a sentient vehicle she assembled from remnants of a Jupiterian spacecraft.

Recent character deSIGNS

Pen and ink, Mar. 2005 (Click image)
Drawings above and below are characters created and owned by Fero, the Signs of the Season kids. Just a small token of thanks for bringing me places recently. :)

Power packed

Pen and ink, Feb. 2005 (Click to enlarge)

Bizzy

Busy day yesterday. Gave Summit a copy of my comic book. They'll be announcing its existence in the May issue of one of their mags (thanks, Chrissy Icamina and Minnette Gamez!). Watched Spanglish (thanks, Jay of BSMG!). Spent the night at Fero McPiggy's. He lent me a boxful of comics. It's got Thunderbolts, Batgirl, Ultimate Spider-Man, Suicide Squad, and a bunch of Elseworlds one-shots. Brought me home by 3:45 a.m. (Thanks, kid!).

Busy day today. Been writing announcements and photo captions since I woke up. Will write stuff for the paper later. Probably do some sketching, too.

High-flying Angel

Team Angel: Wesley, Spike, Angel, Fred, Gunn and Lorne
The good guys of Angel Investigations have taken over the L.A. division of supernaturally evil law firm Wolfram and Hart. Nice lineup, with Spike joining the cast after his heroic last mission in Sunnydale. This is the fifth and last season of the show. And, boy, what an ending!
Also, Illyria (Amy Acker, below) kicks ass!!! Angel Season 5 airs locally soon.

For Season 5 spoilers galore, click here; for more great Illyria pics, click here.

Illyria!

More National Champions

Pencil drawing, Dec. 2000
The blue-skinned Sun Arrow is an avatar of an old Indian cosmic being. Her friend and teammate is Miss Intrepid, one of New York's most reputable costumed crimefighters.

You On My Bed

If I knew how to create music, this would be a song. The words kept repeating in my head with a faint melody when I was heading home from the mall. I rushed to the keyboard and channeled away.
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You On My Bed

I miss your bed, your soft pillow ‘neath my head.
Falling asleep after all the pressures of the world have been shoved aside by your kind words.
I feel free when you stay beside me and touch me like you do.
Like no one else can touch me, like there was nothing else that’s true.

You know I miss you and your bed; I miss the time we feel no dread.
When I whisper in your ear and you nibble on mine so dear,
I just feel the time we steal can come to no end.
I feel your heart beating faster; can it race mine, my friend?
Hold me close and let’s pretend that forever is in your bed.

And after your warm mouth has gone all over me, and mine all over you, falling asleep and cradling each other was the next best thing we could do.
There were no promises, as far as I could tell, just “be there and wake me up”, and as for tomorrow, “who can tell?”
There are others who have touched me, true, but there’s nobody else like you.

You know I miss you on my bed, and all the times we feel no dread.
When we clasp hands and lower our defenses and we pleasure all our senses.
I just feel the love that we make can last forever and a day.
I feel your heart beating faster; do you feel mine, my friend?
Hold me close and let’s pretend that salvation’s in my bed.

And the sunlight comes, and the party ends, and the music fades.
So we’ll forget the night, and all its addictive delights.
Until next time.

Next time we’re cuddling on borrowed beds, I’ll feel you breathing near my head.
And when neither of us feels the need to bring it up, we’ll just live parallel lives instead.
We only care about each other in the secret ways that matter.
I feel your heart pounding in your chest, just like mine, my sweet, sweet friend.

It’s what we do best, lose ourselves in our beds.
There’s no pretending that our lives, yes, they change in our beds.
We’re changing in our beds.

God

I need a damn vacation. Need to tune out a lot of soulless, annoying fuckers.

Counting my blessings

Some good things from an otherwise emotionally taxing and energy-sapping past week:
1) I was able to personally sell at the Pinoy DC barkada meeting thanks to McPiggy. Sold 10 copies of LNA to Benjamin, who will be giving them to friends, and one each to Brian and Christian. A girl member, Sheila, told us she bought multiple copies at Druid’s Keep after owner Felix Cua showed it to her. The day before, McPiggy sold three copies to his friend Robert Magnuson.
2) Boi bitch’s pimpage of my book.
3) A brief but interesting talk with Vinnie, Dean and Gerry about comics, my blog, and art.
4) I Googled my name and discovered a 17-year-old with a Deviant Art account whose favorite artist is, heheh, moi. :)

Perun the Stormer

Pencil drawing, May 2000 (clicky!)
Another weather deity. One of the Twelve Stormers.

Mix tape, March 17, 1998

Took me weeks to finalize this tape inspired by the all-female Lilith Fair. It’s one of a few, actually. I called this one “Lilith Lite”, as it was mellow-themed. All these 24 songs snugly make up one 90-minute tape. I always listened to it when I was busy doing illustration tryouts... I rarely listen to it now, but I still enjoy it when I do.

SIDE A:
Sarah McLachlan- mary
Sundays- folk song
Jewel- near you always
10,000 Maniacs (Natalie Merchant)- circle dream
10,000 Maniacs (Mary Ramsey)- across the fields
Cranberries- dreaming my dreams
Sophie B. Hawkins- before I walk on fire
Milla Jovovich- gentleman who fell
Sheryl Crow- strong enough
Texas- put your arms around me
Paula Cole- me
Color It Red- me singing (lalala)
SIDE B:
Kate Bush- rocket man
No Doubt- world go ‘round
Alanis Morissette- hand in my pocket
Indigo Girls- mystery
Sinead O’Connor- you cause as much sorrow
Jill Sobule- barren egg
Suzanne Vega- world before columbus
Annie Lennox- no more I love yous
Tori Amos- baker baker
Heather Nova- doubled up
Lisa Loeb- truthfully
Pineforest Crunch- french connection

Thank you, Sir Louie

Sir Louie Camino just passed away hours ago. I initially felt terrible about it, but now I'm just a bit relieved that he's not in pain anymore.

Sir. Thank you very, very much. You've been one of the most consistently generous persons I've ever met. Thanks for being a trusting and trustworthy friend. Thank you for listening to me for almost three years. And thank you for believing in me and in what I can do.

Thank you.

Tsk...

Three terror attacks shook the country two nights ago.
Doon pa naman ako minsan nag-aabang sa tapat ng SM Makati kapag pauwi ako.
Kawawa naman tayong mga walang kinalaman...
The real world can be such a fucked-up place with actual monsters, sometimes.

Love-ly Day

Pencil drawing, Apr. 1999
The Brigadier (one of the most formidable National Champions) and Eclectica (daughter of monster entities Lilith and Grendel) make an unlikely but happy couple.
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Bleh, “Valentine’s Day”.
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Some of my favorite love songs aren’t necessarily ultrasappy ballads. But yeah, I like obsessive, irrational, and cloyingly honest lyrics. These flawed, relatable perspectives are very appealing to me, especially when they're integrated into memorably melodic tunes.

“Valentine. You know that I'm fighting this love in vain. The sun's been shining for a week. But it just feels like rain, Valentine. I know you're not mine. And I don't know why you stay. But when those hearts and flowers fade, oh my darlin’, look my way…”
--Belinda Carlisle, “Valentine”

“I've got a pocket full of holes. Head in the clouds, the king of fools. You've got a ribbon of rainbows, the sun in your eyes burning through. Could be I'm happy and sad; could be I'm losing my head over you. Well, you've gotta be crazy, baby, to want a guy like me. Yeah, you've gotta be out of your mind. Crazy…”
--Icehouse, “Crazy”

"I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep. I'm in too far; I'm in way too deep over you. You'll always be the one. You were the first, you'll be the last. Wherever you go, I'll be with you. Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon. Remember, after the fire, after all the rain, I will be the flame. I will be the flame…”
--Cheap Trick, “The Flame”

Attention Malatephiles!

Lexy, Nance & Argus: Sex, Gods, Rock & Roll is now available at super gay gift shop Pride Exchange, located at Orosa corner Nakpil Streets Malate, Manila. It's right on top of Komiks Cafe. Their store hours: Mondays to Thursdays, 4 p.m.-12 midnight, and Fridays and Saturdays, 6 p.m.-3 a.m. (Sundays-closed). Check it out! Thanks to Mr. Fleras and Charles for the opportunity to sell there.

My comic book is also available at all Comic Quest branches and Druid's Keep Magallanes.

Thanks to Amy, Jaime and Camy for the support! Also to Randy Torrecampo and Joanah Sayo of the Benildean for interviewing me about it. And to McPiggyboy for bringing me to Malate. Salamat!

Old Avengers

Pencil Drawing, Dec. 2000 (Touch it!)

The New Avengers lineup is interesting. Cap, Spidey, Iron Man, Spider-Woman, Sentry, Luke Cage, Wolverine, and possibly Daredevil. One gripe though... what's with Spider-Woman's puny, puny venom blasts?!
Anyway, hope the roster will eventually include powerhouses like Dr. Strange, Silver Surfer, Phoenix, the smart Hulk, Namorita, Dazzler, Captain Marvel (Genis), Ikaris, the resurrected Thor, Tarene, Northstar and Juggernaut. Wishful thinking.

I can use many words...

... but all I really want to say is, "I miss you".

Closest thing to a crossover

Pen and ink, 2003 (clickie on image)
Taken from Budjette's phlog. Can't remember when I drew this, exactly. Forgot about it, and discovered it posted there months ago.
Lexy, Nance, Kupcake and Tol check each other out... hehehe

Love, lost and...

FOUND
The Beloved

Well, tell me one thing. Is there madness in this reason? And tell me something that I never knew before. The consequences of my actions aren't confusing. They're just wanting the direction that I've never had before.

I was happy, now, I'm walking on the water. I was laughing, now, I'm floating in the air. 'Cause I found you.

These gut reactions are the best things you can go by. Premonitions are the second, that's for sure. I'm caught by your eyes, they just surprised me, overpowered me. I stand here waiting in the calm before the storm.

I'm delirious, as happy as you're crazy. It's nothing serious or difficult to cure, 'cause I found you. Yeah, I found you.

Your smile is like the ocean, your kiss the seven seas. Your eyes like magic potions, they just enrapture me. I promise my affection for all eternity. You are my resurrection. You mean the world to me.

Rest for the wicked

Just stopped working yesterday to avoid total mental shutdown... and just caught up with nice stuff like:

1) Jamie Cullum's chopped-down-to-30-minutes concert over at Channel V. My god! This guy is a real compelling performer. I've been a fan since I first heard his album Twentysomething, and seeing him perform some of his songs live was a real treat. He kept jumping up and down, and running across the stage like crazy. He even bashed away at the piano with his forehead and chair! He did caress and kiss it several times after. Heh.

2) The latest issues of Justice League Elite, New Avengers, and JLA Classified. Potential spoilers!

Manchester Black's back in Elite. Someone bites the dust, and unfortunately it's my favorite team member. Oh Well. Still good stuff from Joe Kelly and Doug Mahnke. It's refreshing to see Mahnke's detailed and dynamic storytelling in this series. If only he was illustrating the regular title as well. He'd do Busiek's current story justice. That title has been suffering from shoddy and sloppy art lately.

New Avengers... hmmm... Marvel's supposed answer to the JLA's Big Seven... Sentry wasn't shown doing much. And Wolverine hasn't popped up yet (yes, he's gonna be an Avenger). Captain America recruits Spidey, Luke Cage, Daredevil, and Spider-Woman (she's got an interesting, mysterious subplot going on). Characterization's better than the past two issues. Art... not really a fan. Reminds me too much of Andy Kubert's.

JLA Classified is cool. Morrison ends his three-parter. Action scenes are way too short; I want more! McGuiness' art is okay. There are unclear panels, though, like Martian Manhunter getting dunked in a volcano... that was really confusing because we never actually see it happen. Anyway, it's good to see Aquaman kick ass without controlling fish, Batman beating up Gorilla Grodd, and the Ultramarines getting a new direction.

3) Damien Rice's O, Cyndi Lauper's compilation Twelve Deadly Cyns, and John Denver's A Song's Best Friend. Good music all around.
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"Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it."

--Bad boy Lindsey McDonald to Team Angel (Angel Season 5, "Underneath")