I need to be in Makati by 9 in the morning. But I can’t sleep just yet. Wasn’t able to finish a thing that I wanted done by midnight. But it’s okay, I suppose. Things that need doing keep piling up and I can’t say no. To myself. My biggest boss. I gotta survive somehow; the 9 to 5 grind isn’t for me. It’d kill me. Been doing things freelance forever.
I have been encouraged to apply for the reporter job a few times before by the people at the paper, but I just can’t be on-call for breaking news. I really respect them, reporters, 9-to-fivers and doctors. Those jobs just need a different kind of discipline. But I really have been doing different things to keep myself sane and creative since I graduated. Doing just one thing will bore me senseless. And I can’t concentrate only on one task at that span of time.
I may complain about losing sleep and needing a vacation, but hey, I love my life right now. I still worry about the smallest things most of the time (yeah, I’m obsessive, I knew that since I was in college), but I gotta keep it together because I’ve no one to depend on but myself. I love it that I’m able to keep my own hours, usually. I’m glad that I’m Jesus-less, too, because that allows me to do other things on Sundays. I really have no concept of weekends; everyday is a regular day for me. That's fractioned between work, play, and whatever else I need to do.
So yes, I feel lucky to able to do the things I’m doing. To be friends with some of the most analytical people around. To be open to learning new things. To be able to express myself in different ways. To be able to enjoy life, the details of which need not be discussed in this blog. To be able to play shrink to myself, because I want to be more aware of me, how I’m changing and growing past gaining a sense of self.
Session’s over, for now. Off to bed.
6 comments:
i'd give everything to be in your position right now. i also hate 9-5 jobs but i don't have much of a choice. freelancers really have to be talented and creative to survive. and that's something i'm in short supply of.
you seem to be living life the way it ought to be lived. that's good. it will last you longer than most of us.
its about how you spend the 9-5 hours that matters. if youre stuck with something you dont like doing then youre definitely screwed, otherwise, its fun .. at least, its productive.
freelancer forever! i wish i could be freelancing in relationships as well... $sigh$
Slim- “…that's something i'm in short supply of.” Come on, man, you’re both talented and creative.
I’m used to this kind of life already, not knowing exactly when a paycheck arrives, but I really value my mobility.
Max- Yes, I agree. If it was a dream job, it would be great. But come to think of it, I’m working really long hours sometimes as a freelancer. Only I don’t have to get dressed and get cooped in a building from this time to that. That must be it: I’m probably claustrophobic. Or, I got tired of school and its strict schedules and routines.
Saint Eroica! Hey, I’ve been familiar with you through your and Chris’s recent posts (and Nelz's pics!). I’ve read a few of your entries... I had to stop once because I felt like I was intruding… you’re very honest, and your words are really affecting. Wow, thanks for dropping by!
Freelancing in relationships… heheh… That’s an interesting arrangement. :)
i wish i were like you...
i hate 9 to 5 jobs too =(
oh kewl, that rhymed! haha.
hi oliver! it's been a long time. hope to see you one of these days. :)
Jamie!!!
Hope everything is fine with you. ;) Yeah, it's been a while. We'll see each other when we least expect it. :)
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