29, You’d Think I’d Know Better

Hello, younger self. It’s been a while. I’d ask you how you are, but I can actually remember. I’ll ask, anyway: How do you like the direction your life’s heading, so far?

So. You’re 29. You’ve been singing that particular Gin Blossoms song since you were 20. You’re now half-awed, half-scared; as a kid, you never thought you’d ever reach this age or grow this old. But that’s your favorite line from “29,” isn’t it? “At 29, you’d think I’d know better, living like a kid.” That’s only partly true now. You’ve matured. But you’re damn conflicted, especially today.

Today, you’re off to the North for an assignment. Tomorrow, a friend will read your palm, give a pretty accurate description of your life, then augur things that you’ll just laugh off. Well, you don’t laugh them off, exactly; you’ll just smile and wonder. You won’t believe some of the things that the reading predicted, but you will be amused. You do need some pleasant distractions to get some problems outta your head, especially tonight, of all nights.

The next few weeks will be stormy, in more ways than one. You’re second-guessing yourself and what you have, but as usual, you’re proving your worth consciously to people who expect good things from you. Still, self-awareness is a bitch, ain’t it? You wish more people thought the same way as you. And you feel stuck. The next couple of months, well, expect more of the same. And by September, things will culminate in a bad way.

But guess what? I’m proof that you make it. I don’t know if it coincides with some astrological occurrence called “Saturn Returns,” but being 29 was a depressing time, and not just for you. People have been known to undergo personal crises and uncertainty of purpose at this point in their lives. Numerical significance aside, you’ll learn from all this, like you always do. At the end of the year, you’ll look back at the last few months’ emotional turmoil and view things more optimistically.

You’ll realize that you’re happy with what you already have. That doesn’t mean you’ll be complacent; oh no. It’s funny, looking at you now, I can still recognize the naiveté, the post-teen angst, the perpetual need to prove yourself. Don’t you worry, bud, next year, you’ll have a chance to work on something that gives you some art cred. As for other happy things, I can say this much. They will come. The new year is gonna be good. You’ll know why when it comes.

So lighten up, hey. And love well. Turning 30 isn’t so bad. Heck, it’s going to be one of the best years of your life.

Gotta go, now. Dream’s over, kid. Wakey wakey.