(Feb. 14, PDI-Entertainment)
By Oliver M. Pulumbarit
It was the end of the search for “the one.” Not that
now-married filmmakers Rodolfo “Jun” Robles Lana Jr. and Perci Intalan intuited
it when they met 11 years ago.
“A friend said one day, ‘I have a friend who has a friend—he
feels na OK kayo,’” recounted Lana, script supervisor and creative director for
GMA 7 dramas, including “My Husband’s Lover,” last year’s gay-themed hit. “A
few days later, I got an e-mail from Perci, introducing himself. It was a funny
letter.”
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| Perci Intalan and Jun Lan (Photo by Kristina Williamson) |
Added Intalan, a former TV5 executive, “We met in 2003; I
was an executive producer for Disney in Australia
at the time, but I was based in Hong Kong.”
That first meeting happened during Intalan’s vacation in Manila,
after about a month of e-mailing back and forth. “We hadn’t talked up till then,
not even by phone,” Intalan related, “but we hit it off. I stayed in Manila
the whole length of my vacation, four weeks. Neither one of us went into it
expecting anything, but we were very comfortable with each other. The test was
when I had to go back to work. He followed me to Hong Kong
soon after. I guess we both realized we wanted to be with each other more
often.”
Lana finished
Communication Arts in University of Santo
Tomas; Intalan, Communication in Ateneo de Manila
University. Similarities in their circumstances, plus the “nurturing” support
of friends and relatives, made acceptance of their sexuality easy, the couple
said. Before that, they both had relationships with women.
Intalan recalled, “Maliit ang mundo namin. We had
girlfriends in college—mine knew one of his!” Lana said, “My exes and I are
still friends. One of them is now a lesbian!”
“My [straight relationship] ended because the love ended,”
Intalan volunteered. “But I was serious with her. I didn’t have a gay
relationship until years later.”
Lana’s story is “the same—parehong-pareho kami.” He offered
an explanation: “I believe that sexuality is fluid; you go with the flow. Some
people are scandalized by this notion. But that’s how I am… right now, I can’t
imagine myself [with a woman].” Of the early days, he remembered, “I was so in
love, I had bouts of jealousy. Now, we’re calmer. Each one is able to pursue
other passions and interests.”
Intalan agreed, “Yes, those were the
fragile years. Now, kung baga sa puno, matibay na.”
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| Husbands Intalan and Lana (Photo by Alexis Corpuz) |
They are both 41. They marked their tenth anniversary in
July last year, posting photos of mementos on Facebook. “So many posts,”
Intalan recounted. “There was a picture of the old phones we used to correspond
with, a picture of rings… Jun suggested the caption, ‘You’re cordially
invited.’ It was just a joke [but] a lot of people started congratulating us.
We thought, why not [get married]?”
Three months later, on Oct. 14, they tied the knot in one of
their favorite places in the United States,
Central Park in New York City.
Prior to departure, they hosted a big dinner for their families here, since not
all of them could go to the US.
“I was really nervous,” Lana said of the big day. “I
suddenly understood why people became emotional on their wedding day—because of
what it symbolizes. Being surrounded by those who truly cared about us was quite
overwhelming.” Intalan recalled feeling “so much love—even from total strangers
who congratulated us!”
The marriage is legal only in the United
States, and the couple admitted that
residing there one day was not far-fetched.
“I have gay friends in long relationships. One friend was in
a 30-year relationship until his partner died,” Lana said. “The surviving one
was left with nothing; it was tragic. I certainly don’t want that to happen to
us.”
Added Intalan, “Going to New York
[to be wed] was a symbolic gesture. We didn’t think of it at the time, but the
idea that we were doing it where it was legal and official… it felt good.” They
didn’t need to change surnames, he said, “but we did joke about combining them:
IntaLana.”
Lana would find that their wedding was
“something bigger than us.” After the ceremony, he said, strangers would come
up to him and say how much it meant to them.
Married life has been a breeze, so far. They’ve lived
together since 2004, and have two toy poodles named for their favorite
Australian cities, Sydney and Melbourne.
They described their domestic setup as “normal.” Intalan
admitted that he can’t cook, so his partner does, “sometimes.” (More often than
not, though, they have food delivered to their condominium unit.) “In short,
we’re really just like any straight couple. We clean the house, take care of
the dogs… and the place is just as often messy as it is orderly!” said Intalan.
“But Jun is more of a city person,” he said. “He likes the vibe of a lot of
people. I’m more introverted. When we take a vacation, his choice is Boracay;
ako, sa bundok.”
Lana said he wants a kid “someday.” They’ve discussed it, he
said. “When we’re ready… when I can just concentrate on making films and taking
care of the child.”
The couple worked together on the award-winning films
“Bwakaw” (2012) and “Barber’s Tales” (2013)— Perci was producer and Jun was
director. They’ve switched “roles” for “Dementia,” a forthcoming thriller
starring Nora Aunor.
They have nothing planned for today, as they routinely avoid
crowds. But they’re sure to celebrate Valentine’s on another day.
They both feel “fortunate” that they were already self-aware
when they met, and wish for other gay people to be strong and more accepting of
themselves.
Intalan’s counsel: “Don’t feel pressured to come out until
it’s time. Don’t feel pressured to find the right one. It takes a while.”
Lana agreed. “And I have a message for anyone [pressuring
LGBTs to come out], regardless of whether they’re sure of who they are, or
still confused: Be a little kinder.”
