Equal Partners in a Mystery

The stabbing pain in my right shoulder’s gone, finally. I must’ve over-exercised Monday night, but the pain recurred every time I’d move my arm a certain way, and that lasted till late Wednesday. I felt some muscle stress in my legs and abdomen also last Tuesday morning. But they didn’t last as long. Anyway, I’m feeling so much better now, and I’m hoping that I’m done with that emo-boy phase for good. I’m more optimistic, now that I’m outta the funk. To the people who helped cheer me up or asked me about it, my sincere thanks.

I’m also glad that there were a few things that distracted me these past few days. Most have been good diversions, while others have been barely passable time-killers. I finally saw the season-ender of Desperate Housewives, and sadly, while there have been really good moments with some of my favorite characters these past months, I’m just not that impressed by the show anymore. I can still relate to some of them (Andrew! Bree! And, to some extent, Edie’s nephew!), which is always a good sign that something’s being done right, but it seems that the storyline outcomes have gotten much easier to predict and there hasn’t been anything to match the mysteries that made its initial season riveting. Still, it’s good to just listen to Mary Alice’s narration and how that ties up a theme every episode. As for the cliffhanger, well, too bad, I like that particular character. But knowing her final fate, admittedly, is something that I can’t wait months for.

Oh, by the way, last Saturday, Benedicky and I picked up my stuff at DK. I got a few action figures, some characters that starred in the comic book 52. The finely sculpted and painted DC Direct toys are lovely, especially Animal Man and Booster Gold, which are equally handsome and sexy figs. They’re great additions to my expanding JLA set, and the good thing is, I got ‘em at a much, much cheaper price (almost P400 less than the mall store price each!). Hey, I just noticed that Booster and Animal Man resemble each other a bit (they both have goggles/visors which connect to similarly cut headgears, are blond, and don’t wear belts). Oh, and yeah, Booster has a Skeets accessory! I didn’t expect that.

One of the recent comic books I got from the shop was issue three of Illuminati. Boy, that was disappointing. The first two issues were actually good, but to retcon the Beyonder’s history in such a way that contradicts every story that made plausible sense of the character’s existence is just a case of fixing what ain’t broke. This was really unsatisfying. The Beyonder was an interesting character, and to disregard so much of the old stories is just wrong. But I’m hoping that this confusing secret origin isn’t final.

Also read the latest Buffy issue, which has gotten really weird, art-wise. But oh my god! The story’s typically Joss Whedon. Questions were raised (What’s Ethan up to? Who’s Buffy's secret admirer?) and previous enigmas were answered (Oh my god! He’s alive! He’s Amy’s boyfriend?!). Oh, if only this came out every week. I still remember how excited I got, every time a new ep aired over a local channel every Monday night.

Whedon’s also currently writing Runaways. I liked the way Molly confronted the Punisher in the latest ish, heehee. Hmm, I wonder who those two new characters are. I'm guessing that they’re probably related to the team somehow, maybe future versions of some currently dead characters? There’s a time travel angle in this new story, so maybe that’ll eventually explain if or how they’re kindred.

Beer Guy lent me Gail Simone’s second to the last ish of Birds of Prey too. Love this series, and the Secret Six guest appearance. I have yet to see the conclusion of the arc, which resurrected a female Justice Leaguer. I think it’s available now, though. I love the fact that this all-girl team book has been an enjoyable, unique ride during Simone’s run, and after she leaves, I hope it won’t lose any of that consistently strong female characterization or the series’ fun spirit.

Ah, it’s the sixth month of the year already. Note to self: reorganize, you fool! Take a break when you need to, yeah, but get on with it. There's a list of things to do, and a calendar to mark.

A Chance to Dance Along the Light of Day

Sometimes, I just lie awake at night, just wondering about certain what-might-be’s and mapping out past decisions that landed me where I am today. I don’t dwell on things too much, nah, but I just wonder about how random people connect, and how all relationships look from an all-knowing vantage point. In The L Word, they have a whiteboard that charts the increasing sexual liaisons of a fictional lesbian community at a certain place. The social networking sites in our reality don’t have viewable, scaled models of all possible connections, but I imagine that they might look like unending layers and layers of tangled and intricate cobweb designs. That’s a lot of people who want to be happy, or rich, heard, cuddled.

I guess I’m re-assessing my life’s direction again. I dunno. They say that Scorpios are truth-seekers, and I suppose that’s quite true in my case. It’s hard when I’m bothered, when I don’t feel like facing reality and I just want to escape, though. That’s especially true yesterday morning; I kept waking up almost every hour, feeling anxious about how the day would unfold, and worried about the things I needed to deal with.

I wanted to get away from the routine and enjoy the day differently. But I was just stuck there, tossing and turning, when it looked like I wouldn’t be able to go out, partly because of the crazy weather, and partly because company wouldn’t be available. I wanted to see people, listen to music, maybe drink a little. I didn’t feel like my usual duty-bound self, not the person who’s always concerned with making his time count or leaving his mark.

Was I such a deprived, repressed kid? I think so. I think I’m trying to make up for lost time. I just want to be free a little, every now and then. But when I felt bummed out, I just stayed in my bed and tried to sleep through the hours. It didn’t make me feel better, but it rested me enough to do other things like watching episodes of 24 (the sixth season of which surprisingly feels super-dull and utterly rehashed, so far), and two DVDs of movies I’ve been meaning to see for a long time. Those distracted me enough to not think about places I’d rather be, and when that got boring, I just crashed in my bed again.

Slept for about forty minutes 9 p.m.-ish and had a semi-sex dream, details of which will not be mentioned here. I felt real hungry when I woke up; it was one of those dreams that felt like it ran the duration of several days. I’m still a little restless, but it’s a good thing, I think, that I didn’t drink alcohol at all the whole day, even when I really wanted to. I dunno how long this uneasy feeling will last.

But I hope to partake of some earthly pleasures soon. Need to think more positive, cheerful thoughts. That's probably my equivalent to praying, minus the worship. Whoa, wait, it’s Saturday already. I didn’t notice the week breeze by. I think I was still processing things from last weekend.

Heroes Past

Some film and TV fantasy heroes, caricatured five years ago for a short-lived magazine. I illustrated it to accompany an article I did.

After the Boys of Summer Have Gone

Rolling Thunder

Oh, what a week. Summer Oh Seven’s done, but it still gets so fricking hot when it’s not raining. And when it’s raining, it doesn’t stop. Ugh. My emotions were as messed up as the weather the past few days, but I managed to juggle work with play, so I’m okay. I’m able to unwind a little and tune out stuff like termites, infrared home inspection systems, and showbiz assignments when I’m not working and writing about them. And I know that I felt my self-imposed vacation was over last week, but I was able to slip back briefly into my “alcoholidays” (a word coined by Beer Guy that Benedict admittedly hates because it’s clever and he didn’t think of it). I didn’t do anything moronic while slightly inebriated at certain times this past week, I think, so everything’s good.

I finally saw the Heroes season-ender, and I just had to take down Suresh’s narration by the end of the episode, which I felt connected and summed up what I was feeling about my direction for most of the month:

“So much struggle for meaning, for purpose, but in the end, we find this only in each other: our shared experience with the fantastic, and the mundane; the simple human need to find a kindred, to connect, and to know in our hearts that we are not alone.”

Cool, cool. I think that just described my whole summer. It was strange that fellow blogger and old friend David, whose review I finally read a few hours after I watched the ep and transcribed those words, also quoted them (but we punctuated it differently). More on the episode in a bit.

No Fate But What We Make

And so, on to some endings. Spoilers ahead.

52- After one year, the comics series finally ends and has some big revelations about the post-Infinite Crisis re-setting of reality and this so-called “New Earth.” I really like how many of DC’s books have that contemporary, modern feel to them, but I’m not sure how to look at their characters’ histories because I don’t know which happened for real this time, which events were erased, which continuity gaffes were fixed, etcetera. Hypertime, Zero Hour, Crisis, Countdown… It’s confusing to really think about it as a whole.

But that said, I enjoyed this series a lot. I was touched to see Ralph and Sue Dibney reunited at last. I loved Renee and the Question’s shared journey, as well as Black Adam’s descent into madness. Yeah, the World War III spinoff series fixed other things rather rushedly, but this main title was a well-handled yearlong experiment that nicely developed characters that didn’t seem interesting before, at least to me. Good, meaty mainstream reading.

Heroes- Some like it, some loathe it, but the season finale of “Volume One” was just okay for me. Well, after much buildup, it's the prophesied catastrophe episode. Or is it? We finally get to see an expected last-minute change of heart, and some cliffhangers concerning four pivotal characters. It was a little disappointing that Mrs. Petrelli seems like she’s being groomed as an Irina Derevko-like character, in that she’s this cold and calculating old creep after all, but well, let’s hope it’s done well next season. Mr. Bennett, whom I assumed was the show’s main bad guy in the first few episodes, conversely, has proven again that he’s actually on the side of the angels. His first name is finally revealed as Noah, not so subtly implying that he may be instrumental in gathering together the superhumans in the near future.

A possible big bad is hinted at by the Caliban-like tracker kid Molly, so that might be something to look forward to in terms of new foes.

And again, Peter and Sylar meet up, and beat each other up quickly (Pete lands four punches). But that climactic battle, which involved the other supers, was really short, and could’ve looked smoother. Now that all the surviving characters have met up, though, I hope season two will bring them and the concept into new territory (previously unseen in TV, comics, or elsewhere).

Legion of Superheroes- You know, this is no Justice League Unlimited, and it’s not as gritty or focused as Batman Beyond, but it’s not a bad animated series at all. Young Clark Kent time-travels to the future and becomes a valued member of the 30somethingth century’s premier superteam. It’s fun, at least most of the eps were, and the season finale, where the team tries to stop the Sun-Eater, is especially cool. The particular sacrifice in that episode may not come as a surprise to people familiar with the pre-Crisis Legion, but it’s nonetheless effective and sad.

Torchwood- I finished this a while back. All I can say is, wow, that’s the gayest scifi show ever. No kidding. This kinda feels like a weird melding of The X-Files and Angel, so it’s periodically campy, and also treacherously dark. But the show is geared for a more mature audience, so it can get extra-kinky, sometimes. This is a spinoff of Doctor Who, which I really have to see soon (it’s a tossup between that and Battlestar Galactica, but we’ll see, maybe I can watch alternately). The openly gay Captain Jack Harkness first appeared in that series. Torchwood gets puzzling and crazy from time to time, but it’s something unique. It was quite entertaining to see the first season focus on these mysterious new super-science agent characters. I liked Ianto the bi-boy the most, and that was one moving kiss in the season finale.

A Dream That’s Barely Half Awake

I’m ending the post with lyrics once again, this time by Aimee Mann and her great ‘80s band ‘Til Tuesday. First discovered this six years ago, and it’s gotten renewed meaning and sentimental value to me since. Am loving it more than ever, as it accompanies this period in my life appropriately. Ah, I'm feeling strangely fine.

Coming Up Close

One night in Iowa, he and I in a borrowed car
Went driving in the summer, promises in every star
Out in the distance I could hear some people laughing
I felt my heart beat back a weekend’s worth of sadness

There was a farmhouse that had long since been deserted
We stopped and carved our hearts into the wooden surface
We thought just for an instant we could see the future
We thought for once we knew what really was important

Coming up close
Everything sounds like “welcome home,” come home
And oh by the way
Don’t you know that I can make a dream that’s barely half awake come true
I wanted to say
But anything I could’ve said I felt somehow that you already knew

We got back in the car and listened to a Dylan tape
We drove around the fields until it started getting late
Well I went back to my hotel room on the highway
And he just got back in his car and drove away

Coming up close
Everything sounds like “welcome home,” come home
And oh by the way
Don’t you know that I can make a dream that’s barely half awake come true
I wanted to say
But anything I could’ve said I felt somehow that you already knew

I'm Seventeen, Been Through It All

Boys do fall in love. Or something.

Lookit that. I was a barely legal college “jock.” And I had cool hair. That jacket was from my senior year in high school. It must’ve been cold and rainy back then; otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered bringing it. I didn't wear it often.

The cropped pic below, meanwhile, was taken during a family gathering, Medya Noche, if I’m not mistaken, back in the day. Ah, the era of the instamatic camera, a time when people actually put their one-hour developed, matted pics in actual plastic-sleeved albums. Found these two pictures in separate ones a few days ago. I kind of missed how light I must’ve been, and how I was able to get away with a lot of mistakes back then. But only briefly.

This second pic below (click on image to enlarge) was taken a few months after the one above, and I distinctly remember that it was one of the worst years of my life, but my personal deus ex machina came just before it ended. So I’m looking kinda relieved, albeit less innocent, in that picture. Still, things were much, much, simpler, and I kinda miss that sometimes, but again, only fleetingly. I’m stuck in the here and now--make that happily stuck in the here and now--where people who matter prefer me as I am.

I like my old hair, though. I got into new wave just a year before, and I must’ve emulated some of the bands’ hairstyles subconsciously. Also, I know I only wore that in the house, but my god, the shorts.

I was amused for hours two nights ago, just looking at a bunch of college pics, as well as those from my “lost” years, eras in my life that felt like a blur, for one reason or another. I remember voices out of those photos, familiar words that resurface and romanticize the good times. And, as I was looking back, I wonder what other people I know now must’ve been doing back then, and how their lives were unfolding, parallel to mine.

Thank You Clarity

Strange Love

Meme time! Gibbs tagged me:

“Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself or herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to tag 6 people as well and list their names. Don’t forget to let them know they’ve been tagged!”

6 Weird Things About Me!

1. I do phone interviews on my bed (I work on my bed!), on my tummy, and with all my notes spread all over. It’s the comfiest way for me to do it. I’m glad that I don’t have to work elsewhere and dress up when I’m doing articles and press releases. I’m barefoot and practically just in my underwear, with the electric fan aimed, full-blast, at me. It feels good to just not shirt up while working, especially during these summer months. Sorry for the mental image. Only three or four of you can appreciate that.

2. I have a rattan chair near my bed where I put some of my assorted things, and stuff I don't know where to put. It’s been that way for about two years. See the pic below. I’d play with those action figures, pose ‘em and stuff, but after a month or two, I brush off the dust and put them in my toy shelf. Maybe the weird thing is, I don’t clean it as often as I should, so it gathers dust. There are scraps of paper and plastic on that chair that need to be organized or disposed of. Although I did arrange my things yesterday and those toys are now in the shelf.

3. The three sports I excelled in were dodgeball (grade four), softball, and arnis (college). I suck at all the other sports equally. I don’t like basketball, and it was embarrassing to even recall how awful I was at it. Hey, I was young and was trying to fit in.

4. I have low Emotional Quotient, as a friend pointed out just a few months ago. I must’ve failed a marshmallow test as a kid, or something. I open up and read comic books while I walk sometimes, or look at comic book spoilers in forums. But I’ve managed to wait for the actual issues. I still get surprised. Sometimes, I have the compulsion to complete a Marvel Legends set so soon after they hit the stores.

5. I don’t feel the need to join family reunions, or other gatherings like relative’s birthdays, or weddings. I guess that’s pretty normal for me. I’m just not into it. There are some okay people there, but I’m not really raring to go and meet up with them. That’s just how I’m wired, I guess. The standard interrogation questions, those involving marriage, financial stability, and weight gain are not my idea of a good time, either.

6. Sometimes, I obsess over people and things that are unworthy of me. Of course, that statement sounds sourgrape-y, but, yep, it’s a coping mechanism. Enough said.

Tag, Pam, Max, Carl, Jason, and Cams. You’re it!

Buffy and Brandy

Went through my Buffy and Angel CDs and watched five or so random episodes last night. Checked out some really memorable parts too. I’m reading the new Buffy comic book series, the official eighth season, so it got me into looking at the series and its spinoff again. I can still sympathize with Xander in “The Zeppo,” feel Cordy’s anguish in “The Wish,” and get entertained by post-Sunnydale Andrew’s antics in the Angel ep “Damaged.” It’s rare for a TV show to have such a large roster of likeable characters, but Buffy and Angel had those you can truly love.

After some time, I finally gave in and opened the brandy bottle I was keeping and drank while watching. I just did so directly from the bottle like the stereotypical drunk. After drinking about two inches off of the contents, I began feeling drowsy, and it kind of enhanced the agitation I was feeling just hours earlier. Slightly depressed, I decided to stop, and kept the bottle. Beer Guy advised not to drink alone, as he always does, “because alcohol ain’t good that way.” Well, just say when, Beer Guy. Anyway, the brandy tasted okay, and its warmth and somewhat fizzy quality felt like superminty mouthwash, but it kinda tasted like vodka mixed with cough syrup. The alcohol content made me feel heavy in no time at all.

Boy, Interruption

Hah, I just discovered my old student’s log book from way back. I was 14 and in my sophomore high school year. Holy jeez, I was a young overachiever! It’s strange, I’d forgotten about most of the contests I joined, but I folded pages and wrote down on those dates that I won in:

July 22- St. Benedict Poster/Slogan-making contest (2^nd Place): I came up with “Ours to Fulfill is His worthy mission, for Glorification, Redemption and Salvation.” I think I won a “Footprints in the Sand” plaque, or something.

August 31- Career week: Nation Rebuilding Poster/Slogan-making contest (rank not written): “If you strive to be the best, anything’s possible. A nation will rise anew.” Wow, I don’t remember what this is at all. I must’ve drawn buildings and a sunset, haha.

November 9- Drug Abuse Prevention Poster/Slogan-making contest, Muntinlupa (1^st Place): Of course, my winning entry had a young guy who was active in school and sports. It was colorful! Heehee. I remember then-Mayor Ignacio Bunye handing me my prizes, which were, if I remember correctly, P300 and a gold medal. I so wanted to give part of the money to my adviser but she politely refused, and was probably amused by my awkward expression of generosity.

November 25- “My Country” (special award, or something): I remember that this got me a nicely sculptured wire trophy, which was shaped like the line doodle of a dove. My oslo-sized drawing was exhibited at an art gallery in Paranaque whose name escapes me. Of course, the drawing had comics-inspired sensibilities, and had the usual patriotic elements collaged together--People Power I, the farmer on his kalabaw, a dove with an olive branch, the Rizal monument—all bursting forth from the Philippine flag’s rays. Naturally, the blue and red parts are in the background. Gawd.

January 31- “The Role of the BAS (Benedictine Abbey School) Family in the Peace and Progress of Our Nation” poster-making contest (rank not written): I don’t remember what this is, but I think this contest was held during the Santo Nino festivities.

February 12- “Kapatiran at Pagkakaisa: Kalayaan ang Muling Pagbangon ng Ating Bansa” poster-making contest. (1^st place): Oh my god, this was held at La Salle Greenhills. I wonder where Benedict was during that time? Heheh. I think, as soon as I got home, I sheepishly told my mom, “First place.” And I remember reading a bunch of Marvel comics at the supermarket soon after.

March 24- Recognition Day (Gold Medal, overall art award for the schoolyear): After the ceremony, my parents brought me to the nearby McDonald’s outlet. Yeah, I know, but it was new then and it hasn’t sprouted into hundreds of branches yet.

The next year, I just won one award for an interschool art competition held at La Salle Alabang, and the year after that I think I won in about five school contests. I didn’t have any awards or anything in college, as I was too busy experiencing life as a horny boy.

Halos puro jugjugan lang ang nasa isip.

When My Dreams Just Move Along

The past few weeks have been fun and surreal. It’s like I’ve been able to let go of some responsibilities and burdens from time to time, which is good for someone like me. I’m a late bloomer when it comes to certain things, so this past month or so has made me feel like I’m fun again (if I ever was that). It feels like I'm 17 again, but in a different way. But the vacation, I think, has ended. I’m back to this reality again, back to worrying about things that have to be done. And, whoa, it started raining just now. How freaking symbolic.

Not that I wasn’t really doing anything; I was working in between exploring and researching, so I’m all good. I guess I just loosened up a bit, and I'm seeing some things more clearly now. There are other things to regret too, but nah, whatever.

For the past eight or so days, I’ve taken in different kinds of alcoholic beverages, and I must admit that figuring out my limits was exciting. I can handle it up to a point, I discovered, but well, party time’s over. Today, I’m not feeling good, because of some things that have come to my attention, and others that need to be done. I’m glad I’m not drinking now, while I’m feeling this way, as it might lead to something I might regret. But I must admit that I’ve been quickly imagining the taste of beer in my mouth, probably triggered by assorted stimuli right now, so I’m also missing it. But, no, I don’t need to drink, at least not today, and not when I’m this way.

I’m signing off with the words to a song I’m rediscovering (Kate Bush’s cover of “Rocket Man”), and the lyrics of another that I’ve been aching to hear over and over again (Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Folow You Into The Dark,” which I first saw performed in “Conan O’Brien” last year). Love, love, love.

Ah, summer, you bittersweet bitch.

- - - - - - - - - -

Rocket Man

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour, nine a.m.
And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much, I miss my wife
It’s lonely here in space
On such a timeless flight

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till touchdown brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no
I’m the rocket man
Rocket man, burning up his fuse up here alone

Mars ain’t the kind of place you raise your kids
In fact it’s cold as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don’t understand
It’s just my job five days a week
A rocket man, rocket man

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till touchdown brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no
I’m the rocket man
Rocket man, burning up his fuse up here alone

- - - - - - - - - -

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I’ll be close behind
I’ll follow you into the dark
No blinding lights or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of spark

If heaven and hell decide they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s in their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me, “Son, fear is the heart of love”
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s in their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark

You and me
Have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now
But it’s nothing to cry about ‘cause we’ll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

In the Grasp of Dusk and Summer

We All Look Like We Feel

Marky Beer Guy, his co-worker and I were at Swiss Deli Friday night to watch Mozzie play. Another band, Kaze, performed before them, and they were also good. Their music is Celtic/pop-rock-inspired, which I find really interesting, plus they had a violin among their instruments to add that folky feel. Cool! Wait, flashback, I remember those talented Conservatory of Music students playing with their fiddles just across our building back in college, and man, that truly is one sexy instrument. Anyway, Mozzie had a keyboard this time and I like that it was used to accompany that heartfelt, haunting ballad Pam sang (sorry, I dunno the title!). It was a fun acoustic set; I had some beers and ate some tasty pasta while they played. Benedict very briefly dropped by to hand some CDs that I had him rip and burn for me (Burn for me baby! Sorry, can’t resist putting that in). He had to leave and catch some z’s for the anime event in Cubao (where he would later win Best Male Cosplayer for his Bumblebee costume, so congrats McPorklet!). After Mozzie’s set, there was a guy who was a comedy act; he didn’t sing but he was funny just playing with the guitar and telling personal anecdotes. He was followed by a solo singer, Marge, and her gifted guitarist. Some time later, almost everybody was singing along to the repertoire of power ballads and rock songs, and Mozzie’s “It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over” cover. It was fun, it was crazy, it was a night unlike any other. And I woke up the next day, in the afternoon, with what can only be called a hangover. My first ever. Ow.

Seen the Future and It Will Be…

With very little time left, Hiro and Ando must find a way to return to the present and save New York in Heroes. So, more spoilers for those who’ve yet to see it. Love this alternate future story! Kind of reminded me of the Buffy episode where Sunnydale turned into Bizarro-land. While this What If/ Elseworlds-ish episode was really exciting; it’s not totally unpredictable or anything, but it showed some of the coolest things. Kickass Five Years Later Hiro! Claire the engaged brunette waitress! Peter’s scarred face! Peter dating Nikki! Peter versus Sylar! But crap. Like in the episode where Sylar “killed” Peter, their fight here was so short! It was very cool to see them confronting each other, with glowy new powers, but their big fight scene happened off-screen. Surely some of the episode’s budget could’ve been allotted for a lengthier special effects scene? But it was nice to finally see the different characters interact. Wow. A few eps to go before the season-ender. Utter coolness.

Stuck Between a Place and a Hard Rock

Around eight people were eating at the resto where a friend and I spent my gift check prize for his birthday meal last Sunday. It was strange, because I haven’t seen it that spacious and un-peopled before. We had the waiter calculate the amount we were spending while we ordered, as it’s a one-time gift check. The food was totally unhealthy but, damn, it was superfugging yummy! We were able to get a big platter of nachos with cheese and the usual garnish on it. We had a huge, huge serving of “appetizers” (three thick spring rolls, salad, hash browns with bacon bits, big onion rings, and fried chicken slices and chicken wings), as well as a macaroni and cheese plate with sliced chicken toppings. Yuuuuummmm. We also got pina coladas (woohoo, liquor!), and a vanilla shake. There was still some amount remaining so we ordered a bacon cheeseburger with fries for takeout. Heart-stopping, but tummy-filling. Oh, and I finally got to see how Kim Carnes looked like, as the elevated TV’s in the place showed her old “Bette Davis Eyes” video. And while eating, I discovered an awesome song by John Mellencamp, “Walk Tall,” which had a video that was unforgettably touching. So, so lovely.

Freestyle in Trance

Fooled myself into believing that I can handle three different alcoholic drinks and not feel anything different. But I found out that it was a mistake to finish three in a row without really pausing, when you only had two hours sleep. It was election day; after voting at the old public school (my, the candidate list is populated by a few turncoats and the same old characters), I headed to the nearby convenience store for some booze and soft drinks. Got home and sampled the next ones in my tasting agenda: San Mig Strong Ice (“a high-alcohol, ice-filtered brew that hits your senses in a way that no other beer will”), Kristov Vodka Cruiser (raspberry flavor, I think it tastes like Tempra, yikes), and Colt 45 Premium Strong Beer (6.5% alcohol). I felt the combined kick not long after finishing ‘em, and I randomly played a CD (which turned out to be an Underworld album). I felt myself getting numb and unusually giddy, like I was aware, but not totally there. I wrote a text message about it (which I hope I didn’t send to anyone): “World’s spinning & techno aint helping & I wanna write about this shit hehe jesus im hard haha ok wait im getting all heavy on my bed think I’l nap a bit” ...Holy crapper. Anyway, the next day, I tried out a Carlsberg and a Lone Star Light, which sorta tasted the same. No weird out-of-body jaunt this time. Hmm, my “research” continues.

Squeeze, Sigh, Twinkle in Your Eye

Had a Beer, Now I Hear You Calling Out for Me

So that’s how it tastes like.

They served us brandy in wine glasses during the end of a press lunch. The event was for the launch of a new TV series, a local Amazing Race-ish reality game show to be aired over cable. It was a nice coincidence that the series is being sponsored by a popular liquor brand. I reluctantly joined a contest that required participants to rummage for dogtags on the floor while blindfolded, but well, I’m glad I did. Each member of our hastily formed team, made up of people from different publications, won a P2500 gift check that can be spent at the café-resto where the event was held (so there’s a nice birthday dinner for one of my friends, soon).

But again, the brandy. I like it. It had a distinct slightly sweet taste and aroma, and it felt warm and tingly as I drank it. Nice. The busboys were picking up a few untouched wine glasses as soon as the event finished, so I felt a little sad that they were going to waste. But just as I was leaving, Mrs. V. and her kids handed me a bottle of the supposedly “better,” premium stuff, still boxed and bagged in a small beige backpack. Excited, I immediately texted Beer Guy Mark. We’ll be sampling that brandy soon, one of these days, when we’re not working. Giddy.

Went to a grocery near the jeep terminal before heading home. Like last time, I bought two caffeine-free softdrinks and a can of beer. Got a Red Horse Extra Strong, which I soon guzzled down while showering (I know, John sez that sounded real porny). That tasted and felt nice. A few days before that, I drank San Mig Light, which was just okay. It didn’t taste any different, but the label says it has less calories than the regular beer. Also, last week while watching Veronica Mars, I drank a Smirnoff Premium Black Ice vodka mixed drink. Beer Guy texted last night, probably proud--or a little worried?--that he “created a monster!” Heheh…

Well, I can handle it. And I haven't really tried downing several at a time. I’m trying to differentiate one brand from the other at this point. So becoming an alcoholic isn’t bloody likely any time soon (I know cautionary tales in the form of relatives, friends’ relatives, and Party of Five’s Bailey Salinger, and to a lower degree, Marvel’s Tony Stark and Carol Danvers). Maybe it’s a phase. I dunno. Maybe I’m getting into it partly because of the weather (I’m downing maybe over a gallon of cold liquids a day because of the heat), and also because of curiosity. Was never into it, but now, yeah, I’m starting to dig it.

By the way, “I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me” is a line off of Tom Waits' “I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You.” How apt. I’m not falling in love with alcohol, at least maybe not yet, haha, but I’m discovering that I do like it, so far.

Tried out a Heineken Lager Beer earlier this evening. That one was just okay; it mostly tasted like some of the other brands. I’m drinking a San Mig Super Dry as I’m typing this. “Clean, clear taste,” the can says.

Ooh, yessiree. Me likey.

Mozzie-rella Cheers

Mozzie Gig!

Catch the band this Friday, May 11, 8-ish, at Swiss Deli, Pioneer Street (near Globe). They got new originals! Not sure if it’s an acoustic gig or not. But I’m curious how they sound plugged. That’s P200, with some part of the amount consumable. Go watchy!

It’s Animal, Animal Magic

Yep, The Logans are a clawful

This group shot was inspired by a temporary team of Exiles (from Tony Bedard’s fun run) composed of Wolverines from different dimensions. Oh, I just noticed that I don’t have the brown costume Wolvie (which was the coolest one in my opinion) and the Weapon X Not Really Nekkid version. Speaking of action figures, one of my favorites appears unmasked below. Yep, that’s Benedicky sans the helmet-mask, posing near a four seasons decoration thingie. The pic is dark enough to obscure his secret identity. Heheh…

Meet Your Storm

Song intermission. Am loving this old song by Vienna Teng. I included it in a compilation I gave to friends early this week. I’m just feeling it after some interesting conversations and reflections about my--and other people’s--turning points.

Harbor

we’re here where the daylight begins.
the fog on the streetlight slowly thins
water on water’s the way
the safety of shoreline fading away

sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want is to be your harbor
the light in me
will guide you home
all I want is to be your harbor

fear is the brightest of signs
the shape of the boundary you leave behind
so sing all your questions to sleep
the answers are out there in the drowning deep

sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want is to be your harbor
the light in me
will guide you home
all I want is to be your harbor

you’ve got a journey to make
there’s your horizon to chase
so go far beyond where we stand
no matter the distance
I’m holding your hand

Spider-Manic Depressive

Spoilers. Yup, Stan Lee's appearance in the movie made me and a friend shudder. It’s gotten distracting since X-Men 3; he just sticks out these days. But what made me chortle was when the non-entity butler suddenly handed out important, heart-changing information to Harry Osborn, just like that! Also, the forgiveness theme gets uber-killed, as Sandman and Peter Parker’s separate dramas get unduly over-complicated and overly sentimental. Everybody hurts, yeah, but you just don’t feel that done properly here. How sad. And also, I was hoping that Venom would have a cooler, monstrously augmented voice. But he still sounds like Eric Foreman from That ‘70s Show. Bummer. And as far as the misbehavior angle is concerned, at least Superman, when he went “bad” in his forgettable third movie, he got some implied, off-screen action. Here, one of the ways symbiote-influenced Spidey behaves badly? He takes advantage of his neighbor’s generous servings of milk and cookies! That’s not even a metaphor. Sap.

However Long I Stay

Typically normal summer week. It got a little weird in some parts, but it’s great that I’m mostly able to rest and stall with work a little. Not a lot of things worth mentioning except, perhaps, how Spider-Man 3 got weird, story-wise. But I can watch it one more time. Hm, what else to blog about? Oh, oh, I gotta mention this before I forget, I just saw the video Gerry made for the Komiks Congress (which sadly, didn't show it). He interviewed me and a bunch of other indie creators for that last Feb. I’m glad to be part of it even if I only appeared briefly.

Hey, I can write about that MRT trip last Monday afternoon. The train was fricking packed, as in everyone’s personal spaces have overlapped. You’re almost intimate with people you won’t even dream of humping in a million, zillion years. But there was one person that was the exception… um, I’m shutting up ‘bout that now. Well, yeah that was really uncomfortable, and I just hated that there was this other person who was breathing--exhaling warm air--down my neck for the length of three or four train stops. Guuuhhh. I doused the back of my neck with alcohol as soon as I got out, and washed it after with liquid antibacterial soap.

Anyhoo, back home, things are pretty normal. Been listening to stuff I ripped from my own CDs, and made mix CDs with a pop-folk-rock roster. Will give them to some friends when I get the chance. Watched a new Veronica Mars ep last night (Weevil got fat! Lamb does the robot!), and I’m just stunned at some “oh my god, that’s so simple, it’s clever” moments. Been barraged with new videos, including cool ones of Dashboard Confessional and Snow Patrol, and listened to a borrowed Angels and Airwaves CD, which is way awesome. Almost every song by the ex-Blink 182-er, Tom Delonge, sounds like a pounding, multi-layered new wave anthem.

Also been feeling creative and ambitious lately, like I wanna make my own movie. But not really. I’d rather make my own comic book again, where I have absolute control over everything. Haha, I’m a damn control freak.

Whatever Words I Say

I’m also feeling like gooey mush again. At least, tonight I am. The following part of this post is kinda, sorta inspired by Alanis’ “Unsent” and Midge Ure’s “Dear God,” but it’s not really about anything heavy. It’s the stuff I’m hoping that certain people get to read some day. But this ain’t a rant post. I think I’m now at this point where I’m looking at my life from the outside, and trying to appreciate it more. Like I said, gooey mush.

- - - -
Dear Mom,

I can’t begin to imagine how occasionally hard life must be for you. Well, I guess I can speak for the other kids when I say that we’re here for you, even when it doesn’t feel like that sometimes. Oh, and thank you for that history book seven years ago.
- - - -
Leah,

Among our classmates’ works, your words in the school magazine appealed to me the most and your gift for that was one of the things that inspired me to write. I’m assuming you’re still writing, wherever you are. I'd make you a Friendster testimonial, if you're in there.
- - - -
Hey Joe,

Remember when you read my palm a few years ago? It’s creepy, but the stuff you mentioned have become true. I still believe that I hold the future in my own hands, but damn, that’s some strange talent you got.
- - - -
Dad,

Thank you for talking to me and expressing interest in my work, and also for asking me about the definitions of words that sound alien to you, from time to time. I’d like to think that by reaching out, you’re trying to say that you’re proud of me, and also, of the person I’ve become.
- - - -
Dear Cams,

Hey, glad that you’re recovering. Get some more rest, and just think about people and things that really matter. You’re not alone.
- - - -
Dear __________,

I got the Christmas card many years back, but I guess you understood why I didn’t wanna respond anymore, and maybe complicate things with your spouse. I hope you’re doing great over there, though.
- - - -
Dear __________,

Aba, nag-skinnydipping. Plano mo yatang maging Leonardo Litton. Pero sige, keep it up.
- - - -
Dear ___________,

To borrow from Jackson Browne, “Please don’t confront me with my failures/ I have not forgotten them.” And to borrow from Heather Nova, “Nothing heals me like you do.”
- - - -
Dear future Oliver,

When you read this some time from now, I hope you’re good and are happier than ever. I hope you’re dealing with people better, and that you’ve grown to treat those dearest to you more fairly. I really hope you’ve gone past your doubts and fears, and that you’re finally working on something that’s giving you a different kind of satisfaction, while still doing other things that keep you on your toes. Oh, and I’m optimistic that the sex is still great.

Love on a Rooftop

I’m tired. I just finished something for work. I so need a drink.

Mozzie Gig!

Pam texted earlier:

“Hi, my band Mozzie will be playing a quick set at Vida de Malate (Nakpil Street) 9 p.m. on Saturday. There will be a lot of other bands as well. Hope to see you there!”

Go watch it, people!

Art Break

Just some drawings. The four-panel thing below is “The Cancer Killer,” something I drew for Comic Conspiracy writer-publisher Doug Miers almost five years ago. Check out the rest of the backup two-pager in my art blog.

I did this ballpen sketch below last week. This is Pearce Curley. He’s got piercings and he’s… curly. Whatev. Had fun doing it. There are other pen sketches, also in me art bloggy. Do check it out.

I’m thirsty.

Dancing With My Baby in the Summer Rain

What a week. Heat is just dang unbearable. I hated that those frigging red ants swarmed into my small cotton bud canister. I didn’t know they were into that. Uggh. Weather’s making me wanna eat and drink more. Also, just walking outside even makes your legs sweat inside your pants, so it’s really annoying. Anyway, I got a bunch of other things to post about.

Pam’s Labyrinths

Watched Mozzie’s acoustic performance at The Room Upstairs in Makati last Friday night with Mark P. (who’s introducing me to alcohol), and Benedict (who read all his comics—about 20 of them--in one sitting). Ate some pasta, and drank a few beers with Mark. We were seated at the comfy red couch, with the matching throw pillows, a nice enough spot to watch from and read comics at.

Mozzie (pronounced mot-zee) started playing 9:30-ish. I was pleasantly surprised that Pam Pastor can sing--and rock!--and that the band’s music is something that easily appealed to me. I followed many female-led bands and solo Lilith Fair folk-rockers back in the last decade, so I’m quite familiar with the sound. The band’s musical style reminds me a bit of ‘Til Tuesday, mixed with a bit of Luscious Jackson. But Mozzie’s able to pull off a range of popular songs and still sound unique.

Their covers of songs by Texas, Moonpools and Caterpillars, Alanis Morissette, KT Tunstall, Rachael Yamagata, and Edie Brickell, among other artists, were really good. I’m just as amazed by their original songs, like “Bolgia Six” and “Starf*cker,” which are unusually profound, lyrically. Pam and her bandmates will be releasing their album independently in a few months, and I can’t wait to hear more of their originals.

So maybe, that’s about ten to twelve songs. I hope they do at least two Tagalog tracks (you can’t go wrong with ‘em!), and maybe one cover, something from their sets. Oh, while I’m suggesting stuff, here’s my request list for future gigs: Luscious Jackson’s “Space Diva,” Vienna Teng’s “Shasta,” ‘Til Tuesday’s “Coming Up Close,” A Camp's "Bluest Eyes in Texas," and Dar Williams’ “What Do You Hear in These Sounds.” I’m really curious how they’d interpret them.

After the show, Pam sat down with us and gossiped a bit. She’s just as open and funny as she was on stage, where her revealing anecdotes about petroleum jelly, hypocrites, feminism and exes show just how adept she is at communicating, and telling stories. “I’m not a lesbian, at least not on Fridays,” she amusingly declared in a spiel prior to starting a Yamagata song. Heehee.

To Pam and the band, more power! I’ll buy your CD when it’s out.

Russ Rush

Thank you to Nicole of Solar for the Shooter preview. Watched it with John last Tuesday, and while waiting to enter, we ran into old friend Russell Tomas. We know him from way back; he had us help illustrate for a project back in the ‘90s. We spent many summer days working at his old Antipolo place. He’s a fun, friendly guy who always thought forward, and it now looks like he didn’t age at all from the time we were hanging out with him. He just started a new social networking site, and shared something about doing another new internet-related endeavor.

Anyway (okay, LNA comment, right about… now), he said that he was “surprised” that Lexy, Nance & Argus was “really good,” and that he even “read it four times.” Hey, I had to insert some plugging into this entry somehow, since it's been a while. But I’m thankful for that kind, gushing review, heh. He did ask me what I was currently doing, and if I was still drawing; told him I still do, from time to time. Okay, there’s my cue to mention my art blog.

Nice fella, that Russell. Glad to know that he’s still the way we remember him.

Hills Have Eyesores

Well, the sequel’s still gross and repulsive, but it’s not as sickening as the first The Hills Have Eyes, mostly because you already know what to expect. Spoilers on!

Some soldiers-in-training get picked off one by one by a community of mutant cannibals hidden in some nuclear bomb test site. It’s pretty by-the-numbers; you just wait and guess how grisly each of the good-looking cast members buys the farm. But surprisingly, it gets damn funny by the end, when the uber-freak, who cornered three outmatched and beat-up rookie soldiers in his hideout, gets his just desserts. One character is almost strangled to death, but she retaliates by going for the monster guy’s wounded head and pulls brain matter out with her hand. My friend and I were laughing hard, partly because you can’t help but mock it (the excessive gore was just… er, too much), and also because at that point, those last few scenes were indeed visceral and cathartic.

Hero High

Some comic books I read in the past few weeks:

New Avengers # 29- It’s really hard to like the Mighty Avengers team, because they’re now grade-A jerks. But I liked this issue, especially the part where Dr. Strange’s sanctum was entered by Iron Man and his stormtroopers, and their confrontation with Iron Fist’s lawyer. Nicely done.

Avengers- The Initiative # 1- Yay, Slott! New characters, underused Avengers members, and obscure Marvel characters in one ongoing book. The hero recruitment and training isn’t as simple as the winning side of the Civil War thought. I’m kinda expecting SHIELD-trained, professional heroes to bungle up a mission and create another Stamford in one of the stories one day.

Justice League of America # 7- Nice talky issue, but I believe there’s an error in the sequence of pages. The Roy-Hal talk should’ve segued to the Ollie-Hal page (starting with the “He’ll kill you” caption), but the gatefold pages and the ones near that became quite confusing.

Buffy # 1- Season 8! I’m fine with how they ended the TV series, but since Joss Whedon wanted to continue the story officially, I’m so there. Old friends and foes return! It's also been announced that Brian Vaughan will be doing future arcs. Woohoo! If only this came out weekly…

World War 3- (The last four comics titles listed here lent by Mark P.) Hmm, it was weird that Martian Manhunter took his sweet time to recover from mental trauma. And sadly, his inner monologue-narration throughout the miniseries felt quite dull. The 52 spinoff just showed an extended view of Black Adam’s rampage, and it ended so suddenly and rather weakly.

Omega Men- I kinda like this, mostly because the characters had a fight scene in Manila, specifically the Quiapo area, if I'm not mistaken. Vril Dox briefly speaks Tagalog (but his words are bracketed, not really written in the vernacular). Too bad that's the most I can remember from it. I can’t remember the Omega Men’s names right now.

Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters- This was a surprise. Didn't really know what to expect from the Palmiotti-Gray collaboration, but it’s actually smart and it reminds me a little of some Civil War subplots, which is cool. The characters were quite memorable, especially the new Ray.

Birds of Prey- The latest issue was great, as usual. Scandal versus Kendra? It’s pretty obvious that the ear-eating lez is more savage, pun intended, but the outcome is no less surprising. Gail Simone… please don’t leave.

Warriors Spree

It would have been great if I posed Thor properly. He kinda looks drunk in this pic. “Verily! Thor doth not handle several flagons of mead that well.”

Former Infatuation Junkies

Spent last night chatting, eating and drinking with Mark Parlade. Met him before, two years ago, at the Pinoy DC meet at Katips along with some of the Comic Brookers. But we didn’t speak with each other then. Last year, he texted me and I didn’t recognize which Mark it was at first, as most of the comic book guys referred to him as “Ike.” Turns out that he’s a Friendster friend (heheh) and meets up with the Comic Brook people from time to time, but couldn’t relate to the VS card games, like me, so he invited me to hang out with him.

We brought more than 15 comics each and met up at a Greenbelt restaurant. The guy treated me to a big serving of pasta with diced chicken that I couldn’t finish, as well as drinks called mojitos and mojichee (rum with fruits and soda?), which I enjoyed. Mmmm… yeah, they’re yummy, and made me feel a little hot and tingly shortly. Benedict joked later that I got roofied, heheh.

I discovered that Mark’s a friend of some of my friends from the paper for quite some time already, as the firm he works for handles some entertainment-centric accounts. We talked about work, comics, relatives, music, the “My Humps” parody and so on; it was kinda weird but cool to discover that there are a bunch of things I have in common with him (we studied in related schools and knew certain people; we like Alanis’ second album; we agreed that the latest Titans issue resorted to a familiar cliffhanger again, etc.). But the guy is different in many ways, as he’s a very outgoing person, a family guy and dad to the adorable Snow Pop/Noah, among other things. And he wears lense-less eyeglasses that, he admitted, have always been a conversation piece.

We walked to Greenbelt 1, where he was parked, about three and a half hours later. At the restroom upstairs, I brushed my teeth and didn’t quickly notice that a colleague, Jojo Panaligan, who writes for another paper’s entertainment section, was standing nearby. He liked what I did with my hair (I colored it brown), and briefly told me about his plans for the future before leaving for somewhere else. Outside, Mark didn’t recognize him as he walked away, but he remembers contacting him once for some old event. Yep, this guy’s practically met everyone by now. Oh, he did mention inviting old friends Gerry and Whilce Portacio for an interview that aired in channel 7 way back when.

Well, he’s recommending that I go soon to Boracay, his “spiritual home,” where he recently spent the Holy Week holidays (and got harassed in different ways, haha). Told him that I will visit, some day, just to see and experience the place for myself. The self-confessed Mozzie groupie also wants to hang out one of these days to watch Pam Pastor’s band perform. As we pretty much have the same taste in music, I’m gonna have to check them out. Pam’s been inviting me to the gigs but I have yet to see them play (sorry, miz editor!), because my sched’s often conflicted with their show dates. But now that Mark got me curious, will have to find time to watch ‘em, now.

Swell Saturday. Thanks Mark! That was different. The Mojitos made me feel a little buzzed after, which is probably the thing that was missing from my recent work-free, self-imposed holidays. I want some more.

Heat of the Moment

They could be heroes (pic from Yahoo TV)

Whoa, Benedict finished 24 episodes of Veronica Mars in two days. And I thought I was the couch potater.

Been watching eps of Lost season one again, and it’s gotten better, thankfully, from the last time I saw it. Also getting better is Heroes. Its last two episodes were really tense and the most memorable ones for me so far. It only has a few episodes left before the huge season finale, and because these latest eps have been good, I’m wondering how the big prophecies unfold and how some characters will end up.

I’m glad that serial killing freak Sylar is facing Peter Petrelli and that it’s finally pointed out that both of them are multi-powered copycat beings. Hope the ensuing battle is good. It also feels like The X-Files, back when it was good, now that it’s revealed that there’s a not-so-benevolent group keeping tabs on the superpowered humans, as well as a secret alliance that’s protecting Claire the impervious cheerleader. The connections are becoming clearer, and things are finally making sense. I hope the ten or so powered characters interact and organize real soon, as it would be great to have them work on a mission that would really make them heroes.

Summer Sky, Throat Bone Dry

Once in a while, I get a lingering heavy feeling, the kind I get when getting out of bed seems like a serious chore. I don’t normally procrastinate… well, maybe I do sometimes, as some friends will undoubtedly tell me when it comes to certain things. But no, I know my responsibilities. Yesterday, I was just feeling a little bummed out. Perhaps it’s a delayed response to the just-finished holidays; it’s probably my mind and body’s way of telling me that I should stop for a little while and get more rest. I don’t get to enjoy the days off like others may have, because, mainly, I didn’t go somewhere different last week and maybe I’m wishing for a change of scenery. Or maybe I’m just worrying about money. That’s probably it.

I’ve always tried to make the most of the summer season when I was younger. For kids, ten-month schoolyears meant that the remaining months of the year should be spent on just bumming around and enjoying the great outdoors. The thing back then was the family excursion, where relatives from one side would plan a trip together to some Laguna hot springs resort or some beach that wasn’t that far from southern Metro Manila. Those were the times when the famiy members and relatives felt closer, when joining them really wasn’t a question. Sure, I can enjoy time alone at home drawing, reading and watching TV, but those occasions seemed rare enough and I was a kid who didn’t want to be left out.

Nope, I’ve never been to the fabled land of Bora, but one day, I’ll have to visit just to see what it’s all about. I have, however, been to La Union as a boy, and later, as a college student. I’ve been to Baguio, too, right after those short stays at some not-so-swanky beachside resorts. The change of pace did me good every time, though, and getting in touch with nature did have some recuperative effects. It was especially helpful when I was away from the country for a brief vaycay in Hong Kong back in the ‘90s. Not that it was a healthy place to visit or anything, but the change of atmosphere was exciting. But some summers didn’t have to be spent away from home to be memorable.

One summer vacation in high school was kicked off by a farewell party at a classmate’s house. Some guys bought heavy booze, got really drunk, and soon passed out. My other classmates and I--the non-drinkers--were panicking, as our class adviser was about to arrive soon. I think I left really early, as the others were trying their damnedest to sober up the boozed-up guys. It was going to be a serious issue if they get caught that way, and we didn’t want any grief about it either. What a disaster, I thought, but I called up the classmate’s house later to check up on things, out of curiosity. The adviser even talked to me, and she sounded real happy, with nary an inkling of what transpired earlier. Pshew. I know, I’m such a nerd.

I wasn't into sports, but I kept myself busy. I drew a few pages of comics art for a friend’s brother the summer before fourth year high school, when I was 14. I think the guy was so dissatisfied with it that he just shelved it, and I remember that it really looked icky, so I guess it’s for the best that project didn’t continue. Three years later, one summer was spent mostly with new friends and fellow comic book fans, and we enthusiastically started working on a fantasy book. That has yet to be printed, heheh...

About the same time, when I was in my late teens, I took summer classes, not because I failed subjects, but because I wanted to get some of them out of the way. I took up advanced Filipino and Constitution classes with a friend, to free up the upcoming schoolyear somewhat. And I wasn’t gonna spend the season holed up at home. I soon met _________, which led to the end of the relationship with ________. But I’m not at liberty to discuss that, really. I won’t get into how I ________ with ________, either. Or my ________ with ________, some time later.

But back to the present. I need to step on a beach or something. I’m feeling a little tired, but now that I’ve written this, I feel considerably better. I’m just reminded and a bit relieved that I’ve some nice things to look forward to, even when I’m really itching to do something different. Hmmm… I colored my receding Bruce Willis-Diehard 1 hair a brownish hue again, which I haven’t done in about three years (been dyeing it a different color since around 2000, I think). My hair's a tad thicker now than when it was pictured in a post below, and I just felt like doing it. Maybe I’m just incredibly bored. I dunno. Time to pick up a sport or something. Or maybe I’ll just slump back and sleep some more.

Life Ever-lusting

Ziggy Starchilde

Two weeks back, I was able to interview Ziggy Marley, who was in the country to headline the MTV Reggae Fest that same day, as well as to promote his second CD, the indie album “Love Is My Religion.” That is one cool dude. I especially like what he said about that catchy title track: “That is the message that I’m inspired to tell the people, that it is love, and not the ideologies that we have today that must be the way to God, to spirituality, and to peace and happiness for the human race.”

In Heaven, Love Comes First

Here are some lines from a few songs that touch on faith, worship, or doubt. There are different messages, and while some of them don’t necessarily or directly talk about religion or spirituality per se, these lyrics have made me think about them.

“I drive by the homeless sleeping on the cold dark street, like bodies in an open grave, underneath the broken old neon sign that used to read ‘Jesus Saves’.”
Poison, “Something to Believe In”

“If there’s anything good that happens in life, it’s from Jesus.”
Amy Grant, “Hope Set High”

“Father, if Jesus exists, then how come he never lived here?”
Sting, “All This Time”

“There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us, and it’s a void only He can fill.”
Plumb, “God-Shaped Hole”

“If God had a face, what would it look like? And would you want to see, if seeing meant that you would have to believe in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?”
Joan Osborne, “One of Us”

“A teardrop falls from up in the heavens, drowning the sorrow of angels on high, for the least of the helpless, the hopeless, the loveless. Your Jesus, His children, He holds in His arms.”
Jars of Clay, “He”

“Our Lord loves the sinners as long as he don’t sin. He knows the thoughts you’re thinking; He knows with whom you’ve been. And our Lord loves this country. He’s with you at the polls; He knows the lever that you pull.”
Jill Sobule, “Soldiers of Christ”

“We sit outside and argue all night long about a god we’ve never seen but never fails to side with me.”
Primitive Radio Gods, “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth…”

“Think of gentle Jesus. Think of the Buddha underneath his tree. They taught the world about love and how we all can be, how we can all be free. Open our hearts and see love shine.”
Live, “Love Shines”

“Touch the fingers of my hand and tell me that it’s me. Holding on and on to Love, what else is real? A religion that appeals to me: I believe in me.”
K’s Choice, “Believe”

Easter Edge

Everyone knows by now that Captain America’s dead. It’s a big deal for some readers, yes, as he was assassinated not long after his surprise surrender, which ended the superhero Civil War. But no, this isn’t the first time that he was killed. In fact, these superheroes are like your old mythological beings or religious messiahs, in that they have sacrificed their lives, sometimes for the sake of many. But again, death is not the end, and they can’t seem to enjoy eternal rest, long enough, either. Like Osiris, Jesus, and even King Arthur (whose legend foretells his eventual return), your average superhero has at least died once (maybe twice!) and has lived anew, with a renewed sense of purpose. In universes like DC and Marvel, there are Lazarus Pits, cosmic entities, and Hand ninja rituals that don’t let the dearly departed corpses to stay that way for long. Well, here are some formerly deceased characters I can remember right now (apart from Dead Girl, Resurrection Man, and Mister Immortal, because that’s actually their shtick).

Captain America was killed before, first by godlike Michael Korvac, along with members of the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy. Later, he was killed, along with 20 other Marvel heroes, in Secret Wars I by Dr. Doom. Fellow Avenger Hawkeye has died three times (SW I, "Disassembled," House of M), as did Wasp (twice in SW I, and later in battle with the Legion of the Unliving in 1987). The thunder god Thor isn’t unkillable either (SW I, Legion of the Unliving, Ragnarok, etc.), but has returned accordingly. Adam Warlock, Spider-Man, Iron Man, the Hulk, the Thing and the Silver Surfer have perished in action as well, but they always came back.

The Justice League--Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Green Lantern—were brutally killed, then impaled, by Atlantis' League of Ancients, several centuries in the past. Those were Superman and Wonder Woman’s second deaths (not sure how Diana previously died, but she ascended to godhood after that, while Superman sacrificed his life to defeat Doomsday). Green Arrow, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Troia and Hal Jordan bit the dust in separate occasions, but were revived later.

The X-Men (Storm, Wolverine, Dazzler, Havok, Colossus, Psylocke, Longshot and Rogue) were magically sacrificed by Forge to defeat the Adversary, but were soon restored by the goddess Roma. It’s actually hard to keep track of Wolverine’s mortality. But Colossus? Aside from the Forge thing, there’s Secret Wars I and his Legacy Virus cure suicide/sacrifice. Jean Grey also died twice (both in Grant Morrison’s run), just like Cyclops (SW I and Infinity Gauntlet). The New Mutants were murdered and erased from existence by the Beyonder during Secret Wars II. Northstar was back in fighting form, also, not long after his demise at Wolverine's hands.

In the Whedon-verse, Buffy died twice and walked the earth again, while her vampire ex-beaus Angel and Spike experienced post-undead deaths. It looks like they didn’t survive the Angel finale, either.

Meanwhile, Ripley from the Alien movies was resurrected after her fiery “kamikaze” sacrifice, but was back in tiptop shape in the forth installment. Reviving her wasn’t easy, however, as there were many failed attempts to clone her perfectly.

Many followers of these fantasy exploits have become jaded, and might complain that some of these heroic departures are cheap ploys, were poorly executed, or just insignificant. And let’s not get started on the villains, whose real power or talent seems to be the ability to rise periodically from the grave. It feels pointless and meaningless, sometimes, and not all of the explanations suffice or are convincing.

But many have accepted that for certain heroes, some of them mentioned above, their sagas don’t have to end in death, and conquering that state of finality may lead to more interesting, recharged stories about previously unseen earthly struggles. I suppose part of the resurrected hero’s mystique is that he’s seen and experienced one of the ultimate mysteries, and seeing unusual beings with “cat’s lives” get these second or third chances probably appeals to many of us mere, escapist mortals easily.

Cock-Fu Fighting

Back when I was 11, I dreaded the coming of summer because that was the time I was scheduled for circumcision. As a kid, I always heard about how being circumcised is a necessary rite to manhood, and so on. I didn’t think about it too much until one April afternoon, when my mother told me that, along with three other cousins, I was scheduled for it in a matter of days. She was contacted by an aunt, who told her that her male doctor friend was going to do it. I don’t remember which hospital or clinic it was now, but we all went there together in an old van, that second week of April, to get that over with.

My cousins and I were nervous about it, but they didn’t show it too much. I think we were advised to wear loose shorts prior to be comfortable after the procedure. Inside that van, I think I was jittery but distracted, as I was suffering from tonsillitis. It hurt just to swallow, but I only complained about it a few times, since I was more concerned with my impending thingie. We arrived and were welcomed by my smiling aunt (who wasn’t a full-fledged doctor yet during the time), and the male doctor.

I think one of my cousins volunteered to get circumcised first. I don’t remember it clearly now, but I think I waited outside for a bit and paced nervously. But the thought that I wasn’t alone during that time made me feel okay with it, as my mother, and my cousins’mom, were both there to keep us company. When I was outside, the driver quietly shared that back in the province, they had to chew stuff (Leaves? Guava? I forget) to spit on their schlongs, as some kind of old medication practice, soon after some guy worked on them with crude but sterilized instruments. I don’t know how helpful or hygienic that was, but I kinda knew about that old “style” from the tule story of Funny Komiks’ “Niknok.”

When my turn came, my face contorted, and I just trusted that the thing will be over before I knew it. Two cousins were already milling about, as if nothing happened, so I felt assured that it wouldn’t be that big a deal. Still, I was kind of prepared for the worst. I remember biting down on the collar of my shirt, just so that I wouldn’t yelp out when things get painful. The anesthetic injection on my thing was the worst of it, and I didn’t feel much after that, thankfully, except the tugging and squeezing, which were probably the incisions and the sewing. It was weird; my mom and cousins would watch from time to time, ew!, but embarrassment was the farthest thing from my mind. The doctor even seriously commented, in front of the impromptu audience, that my penis was “so masculine.” Heh. I’m not sure what he meant by that, even now, many years later.

I was bandaged up, and after we were all done, we zoomed to a 7-11 to get some snacks. It was really hot outside, so we ordered Slurpees or some kind of slushy flavored drinks. I quickly finished a big one, but it was strange, because the pain in my throat was totally gone at that point. Somehow, and I’m just guessing here, all that straining and serious grimacing at the operating bed must have contributed to its rapid healing. I don’t know. But anyway, I’d be a little cranky and kinda embarrassed for days. I was careful not to accidentally bump my crotch into furniture and stuff. Getting the bandage off the shaft was not easy, but I felt really free once I removed it, when the “wound” totally healed about a week or so later.

Whether or not circumcision gives the penis character (Elaine, in Seinfeld, opined that it does), well, I guess it depends on your perception of aesthetics. It’s such a big deal for some people, but I don’t really think too much about it. Many, many years after that rite, one of the things you hope for is that people will fancy your cock… but no, whoops, I won’t be talking about that. At least for now. Wink. Cock tease.

So that’s my tule story. Nah, I’m not tagging anyone, guys, only the ones who can remember their own civilized mutilations. Just kidding.