Iron Mashed

Placed second in last Sunday’s Iron Man Mind Mash, during the toy launch of the movie sequel held at SM Megamall. My fellow contestant, Patrick Lauron, won first prize after answering the tie-breaker question correctly in the last round. Always a worthy opponent, that guy. If I remember correctly, this is the fourth trivia contest that we joined, and in all of them, we both ended up in the final round. He won one of the newly launched figures, while I got a small Mark VI figure. My thanks to Cybertron Philippines for a fun game, and the picture above.

Nation X

Homo Sapiens Superior. Children of the Atom. My X-Men drawings, first of two sets.

Excalibur: Micromax, Captain Britain, Meggan, Feron, Juggernaut, Daytripper, Pete Wisdom, Sage, Cerise, Kylun

X-Factor: Shatterstar, M, Strong Guy, Longshot, Siryn, Layla Miller, Madrox, Rictor, Darwin

Astonishing X-Men: Phoenix, Armor, Storm, Cyclops, Colossus, Emma Frost, Beast, Shadowcat, Lockheed

X-Force: Archangel, Vanisher, Warpath, X-23, Domino, Hepzibah, Elixir, Caliban, Wolfsbane, Wolverine

New Mutants: Warlock, Cannonball, Sunspot, Magma, Karma, Boom Boom, Skids, Magik, Cypher, Mirage

Utopian X-Men: Northstar, Cloak, Namor, Psylocke, Iceman, Pixie, Dazzler, Professor X, Dagger

Heroes Hitting Homophobes

Some scenes from Marvel and DC comic books depicting gay bashers getting punched or kicked by superheroes:

Shatterstar (X-Force 49, 1995): Witnessing the beating of a gay guy in an alley, Shatterstar is taunted by the attackers (“This your girlfriend, Mary?”). He quickly knocks them out without using his bladed weapons. Last year, it was revealed that Shatterstar, like his X-Factor teammate Rictor, is bisexual.

Northstar (Uncanny X-Men 392, 2001): Openly gay mutant hero Northstar is repeatedly insulted by an unabashed homophobe, new teammate Paulie Provenzano. Paulie’s invulnerable, but hyper-fast Northstar soon punches him into unconsciousness. Later, Northstar saves Paulie’s life during a mission, and the latter becomes less antagonistic.

Green Lantern (Green Lantern 154, 2001): An enraged Kyle Rayner pursues three homophobic thugs who beat up and severely injured his assistant and friend Terry Berg; Green Lantern breaks one guy’s wrists and pummels the others soundly.

The Spectre (Spectre 45, 1996): While not a superhero in the traditional sense, the Spectre is a godlike entity that punishes wrongdoers. In this issue, he fights and defeats a gay-bashing pseudo-angel, actually Reverend Dinswoode, who encourages his followers to inflict violence on gay people. He brazenly proclaims himself “God’s good right arm.” The Spectre’s powerful punches disarm the deluded bigot.

Way out of ‘The Box’

In “The Box,” Cameron Diaz and James Marsden play a married couple, visited on an unusually bad day by a disfigured stranger (Frank Langella) with a bizarre offer. If the spouses agree to press the button of a box-shaped device, someone they don’t know will die, but they’ll get paid a million dollars. Director-screenwriter Richard Kelly’s film is a circuitous science fiction puzzle that inevitably becomes overly complicated, but despite the high-faluting conundrums, it touches on thought-provoking philosophical angles when details on the bigger picture are gradually revealed. That grand, out-of-the-box design isn’t executed flawlessly; it gets uncomfortably campy along the way, and answers to some bafflers are still too cryptic. However, the couple’s smaller-scale, “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” drama pushes all the right buttons.

“The Box” is an Ayala Cinemas exclusive opening on March 10.

‘Alice’ unchained

An imaginative visitor to Underland returns as a fated heroine in “Alice in Wonderland,” an enchantingly color-drenched, trippy vision directed by Tim Burton. Now grown up, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is joined by oddball allies the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) and the White Queen (Anne Hathaway), among other dreamlike denizens. They must end the mad reign of the freakish, rampaging Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter). Brimming with Burton’s typical visual trimmings, the film easily treads a stylishly cartoony and artificial landscape, but some situations in the “unreal” world become repetitive and/or feel unnecessary. Some characters lack dimension, as well. Still, it’s easy to get attached to Alice, who must also fight encumbering tradition in the real world. Also, Depp and Carter are delightful, as always.

Sunny ‘Valentine’

Cramming multiple stock romance plots into one film, “Valentine’s Day” is a cute and cheesy date movie, its generic characters effortlessly played by an attractive, all-star cast. Several couples celebrate (and mock) the occasion, their intertwined stories ranging from the conventional (Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba’s engaged lovers) to the misleading (the Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper scenes). There’s even an inconsequential but hip pairing (Taylors Lautner and Swift) and a brief appearance by the funny Kristen Schaal (stalker Mel from “Flight of the Conchords”). The good-looking assortment and the tangled mini-yarns about love and its permutations make a pleasant diversion, overall.

‘Crazy Heart’: Sober country

“Crazy Heart” is affecting, thanks mostly to Jeff Bridges’ inspired portrayal of a drunkard country singer, Bad Blake. A struggling, aging performer, Bad is uncertain of the future of his career, which brings him to small town bowling alleys, among other cramped venues. But one gig leads to a momentous meeting with a journalist, single mother Jean Craddock (Maggie Gyllenhaal). “Crazy Heart” is simple and quite the typical addiction drama movie, but it doesn’t get as dark as, say, the Johnny Cash biopic “Walk the Line.” The turns by the small and talented cast, including Colin Farrell as the protégé turned country star, help make it a sturdy, sincere endeavor.

“Crazy Heart” is an Ayala Cinemas exclusive opening on March 3.

The Young Once

While I was drawing the other day, my nephew approached me and asked for paper. Whenever he sees me drawing he asks something about art. This time, he asked, “When did you start drawing?”

I replied, “I began drawing when I was young.”

He innocently asked, “When you had a lot of hair?”

I laughed out loud and said, “Yes.”

Coarse ‘Cop’ caper

Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan co-star as cop buddies in the Kevin Smith-directed action-comedy flick “Cop Out.” It’s strictly a hit-and-miss affair; while there are belly-busting, insane bits, there are lulls and beaten jokes that don’t quite make it to the punchline. Willis’ law enforcer isn’t the resourceful gunslinger from his old actioners, and Morgan plays a less crazy but somewhat louder version of his “30 Rock” character. The ridiculed cops, suspended after a failed mission, soon find themselves tracking down a memorabilia thief, and eventually, a whole mess of bad guys. It’s not always a smooth ride, and the parkour expert/thief (Seann William Scott), gets really irritating with his juvenile mimicking. It’s pretty run of the mill, quite violent, and ultimately, patience-testing.

“Cop Out” opens March 3 in Metro Manila.

It Will Kick Butt

Well, I sincerely hope that it will. I enjoyed, and sometimes was repulsed by Mark Millar’s uber-gritty comic book Kick-Ass. I do hope that it translates onto the big screen well. Nice trailers so far, but I’m not too excited about Nic Cage playing Big Daddy. Still, I hope he’s good in it. Oh, and the guy who played McLovin in Superbad, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, is playing newbie costumed adventurer Red Mist, so that looks promising.

Still solid, side-splitting ‘30 Rock’

(Published Feb. 21, PDI-Entertainment)

By Oliver M. Pulumbarit

Contributor

Three seasons and several awards later, “30 Rock” is still a smart and diverting sitcom that pinpoints and revels in the absurdities of show business. Created by former “Saturday Night Live” writer and cast member Tina Fey, the series amusingly pries into the behind-the-scenes goings-on at an “SNL”-esque variety show, staged at 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York.

It follows the workplace misadventures of Liz Lemon (Fey), the head writer occasionally dealing with the actors’ quirks, tantrums, and personal problems. Liz also leads a talented but immature writing staff and is far from perfect herself, but her network executive boss Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) respects her problem-solving capabilities. Liz is one of Jack’s few true friends, a confidant whenever upheavals in the company and his love life take place.

Every half-hour episode manages to incorporate name-dropping into effective punch lines. The fictional performers played by Tracy Morgan and Jane Krakowski also reflect many celebrities’ magnified self-worth; the characters’ need for validation translates into many hilarious situations. Just as funny are Fey’s self-deprecating storylines, her non-traditional mindset contrasting cleverly with Jack’s methodical behavior.

The talented cast is regularly joined by a who’s who of guests. Carrie Fisher, Oprah Winfrey, David Schwimmer, Nathan Lane, Jennifer Aniston, and Salma Hayek separately appeared in memorable episodes. Music artists Sheryl Crow, Norah Jones, Clay Aiken, and Cyndi Lauper, among others, appeared together for a “We are the World”-ish song about kidney donation in one episode. Fey’s former SNL co-stars, like Jason Sudeikis and Chris Parnell also appear from time to time. Much missed is Rachel Dratch, who was in several episodes of season one as different characters (including a cat wrangler and Barbara Walters).

While the short-lived but brilliant drama “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” audaciously tackled religious and political issues surrounding a sketch comedy show, “30 Rock” lightly but confidently pokes fun at some characters’ political and religious allegiances (the “Church of Practicology,” for instance).

Also spoofing the eccentricities and inanities of celebrities and creative types consistently well, “30 Rock” delights in the side-splitting pratfalls and peculiarities that seem to accompany creativity in that industry.

“30 Rock” season 4 airs on Jack TV every Friday at 8:30 p.m.

Trifecta

Been a busy couple of weeks. But I’m glad that I’m getting work. Some highlights of the past few days:

1. Free stuff. I won a nice-looking umbrella in a raffle held at a pest control product launch. Also, my old friend Roche gave me belated Christmas gifts, two shirts and a few packs of Ready Brew Starbucks Coffee. And Benedict gave me two Marvel Legends action figures, Nova and Black Bolt. My thanks.

2. Awesome covers. There are lovely songs I’m discovering via YouTube. I love Natalie Merchant’s version of Joni Mitchell’s “All I Want.” Same with Maria Mena’s rendition of Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love.” I also enjoy listening to versions by unsigned but talented musicians, like Rhymeswiththetimes, who did an impressive five-song acoustic mashup of “I’m Yours,” “Love Story,” “Collide,” “Superman,” and “Here Without You.” Another singer, Shan Malaika (“shanmalaika1”), also has a touching, soulful cover of “Use Somebody.”

3. Comic books. Geeked out on the following:

Avengers Initiative 32- Love the Diamondback and Taskmaster perspectives on the Siege, and how their thoughts converged by the end of the issue.

Doomwar 1- T’Challa and Storm have been deposed as rulers of Wakanda. Surprisingly good stuff.

Uncanny X-Men 521- Oh my god, what a cliffhanger! Wow. Please end well.

Marvels: Eye of the Camera 6- Seriously, this made me tear up a little, specifically the part where Maggie the mutant was telling Phil Sheldon her story. I remember feeling like an outsider when I was about that age. And they were watching televised turning points of the X-Men and X-Factor during their separate “Fall of the Mutants” adventures. I was there, and those were my heroes. And that part of the issue became very real for me.

Greek ‘Lightning’

Moderately action-packed and mostly made for the tween-teen crowd, “Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief” centers on teenage demigod Percy (Logan Lerman), a seemingly dyslexic lad accused of stealing the fabled lightning bolt of Zeus (Sean Bean). Like Harry Potter, Percy’s bound for greatness; the son of Poseidon (“Rome’s” Kevin McKidd) soon discovers powers that might prove useful in clearing his name and protecting his human mother (the Greek gods mated with Americans years ago, resulting in too-cool-for school offspring, many of whom train at a secret hero camp). Unlike the “Harry Potter” films, though, “Percy Jackson” is a quicker and much simpler journey; it doesn’t evoke timelessness, but it wields its hipness decently. The charismatic cast, “Clash of the Titans”-ish battles, naughty humor (specifically the scenes with Rosario Dawson’s Persephone), and special effects-aided scenarios mesh favorably.

World Weary

I’m not a fan of the new version of “We are the World”--I don’t get Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, and the rap part was as disorienting as that in the 20^th anniversary version of Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas”--but I hope that it inspires people enough to help out those who are still suffering in Haiti.

I like the Pink and Jennifer Hudson parts.

All Avengers

The entire Avengers roster, my 12 drawings shrunk and composited into one image. Click on the image for a huge group shot.

United Colors of ‘Invictus’

Clint Eastwood tackles race relations once again in “Invictus,” an inspiring recollection of Nelson Mandela’s support of South Africa’s mostly white rugby team, which some considered a remnant of an undesirable era. Morgan Freeman stars as the celebrated prisoner turned unifying leader, while Matt Damon plays Francois Pienaar, captain of the struggling Springboks. For a film that talks about racial tension, however, it’s not always felt; Mandela’s strained bond with his rarely seen daughter and her memory of racism offer more emotional tug than most of the depictions of distrust here. Parts with rugby matches lack some necessary grittiness, as well. But “Invictus,” despite being trauma-free, still rewardingly chronicles a transformation into colorblindness, made notable by inspired portrayals and uplifting imagery.

‘Storming’ Norman

"Storming Asgard: Heroes and Villains” is a worthwhile 28-page event Handbook, an organized dossier prepared by Norman Osborn’s right-hand woman Victoria Hand. This is especially useful to those who haven’t been paying attention to the Dark Reign-connected titles, but are getting the “Siege” mini. Containing relevant character profiles, the one-shot has revealing threat analyses and assessments (for example, Hand’s comment on Ben Urich: “I would drive to Broxton for the chance to put a bullet in him myself.”). “Storming Asgard” summarizes some key points during the yearlong Reign of Norman Osborn. It’s more streamlined than the regular companion sourcebook, but it has info on the bigger picture that may not even be mentioned in the main miniseries.

‘In Love We Trust’: Bittersweet, universal

(Published Feb. 5, PDI-Entertainment)

By Oliver M. Pulumbarit

Contributor

A mature, universal drama about sacrifice and post-marital obligations, “In Love We Trust” (a.k.a. “Zuo You”) is among four films screening at the ongoing Spring Film Festival at the Shangri-La Mall Cineplex until Feb.9.

The film by Wang Xiaoshuai delicately tackles the dilemmas of a mother, real estate agent Mei Zhu (Wiewie Liu), who thinks of possible ways to save her ailing child’s life. Her daughter Hehe (Chuqian Zhang) is stricken with leukemia, so Mei Zhu asks the girl’s biological father, ex-husband Xiao Lu (Jiayi Zhang), to help out.

The situation is likewise difficult for the desperate mother’s current husband, Xie Huaicai (Taishen Cheng), who unconditionally treats her daughter as his own. To make things more complicated, the biological parents are rejected as bone marrow transplant donors. Mei Zhu suggests to her ex that having a new sibling may ultimately prove helpful to Hehe. That idea soon becomes a plan that she single-mindedly pursues.

“In Love We Trust” presents emotional scenarios quite deftly. The quandaries of the characters are challenging, but not unfathomable; the drama is largely dependent on its mostly realistic representation of disrupted marital relationships. Intriguingly, the boundaries of marriage dissolve, or are disregarded, to save a life. It’s not hard to process, but not so for those directly involved.

The ex-husband’s second wife Dong Fan (Nan Yu) is an integral part of the fragile situation, a side that’s also satisfyingly defined. She’s both an outsider and a pivotal figure, not just a justifiably jealous spouse.

Moving and consistently moody, “In Love We Trust” doesn’t become hysterically melodramatic. However, some scenes could have been shortened, and some foreshadowing devices are just too obvious (one just waits for Mei Zhu’s clumsiness with her mobile phone to figure into later events).

Interestingly, the story is one that can work in a different setting. Still, “In Love We Trust” has cleanly composed imagery with distinct elements from Chinese culture. It’s easy to appreciate this contemporary and bittersweet spouse drama, a tale that keenly questions the parameters of such relationships.

For screening schedules, contact Shang Cineplex (633-2227), or Ateneo Leong Center (426-6001 local 5208-5209).

Random Life Forms

Characters I created and drew in 2002:

The Gatekeeper

King Kraken

Scarab Drone

Mateo the Misfit

‘True Blood’ quenches thirst for vampires

(Published Feb. 1, PDI-Entertainment)

By Oliver M. Pulumbarit

Contributor

“True blood,” inspired by a series of books by Charlaine Harris, imaginatively presents an uneasy coexistence between humans and legendary creatures.

Vampires all over the world reveal themselves after a synthetic replacement for blood has been introduced, which meant that they need not feed on humans any longer. This change radically affects social, religious, and political mores all over the globe, and that huge transformation is reflected in the small Louisiana town of Bon Temps.

Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), a telepathic waitress, openly starts a romantic relationship with vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer). This attracts the attention of a serial killer, who targets humans with ties to vampires. Apart from the blood-drinkers, the town secretly has its share of other fantastical creatures, including shape-shifters.

Season 1 of “True Blood” is properly mysterious, expounding only on the core relationships and partially hinting at the bigger, more complex connections surrounding them. Because the vampires are a new group establishing itself, they’re often met with prejudice and suspicion. Some humans think they’re all predatory monsters; for others they’re just cattle-like providers of addictive (and profitable) vampire blood.

Season 2 is still edgy and sexy, but has more camp situations. Sookie’s brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is used for more contrived comic moments. Intrepid Sookie, meanwhile, becomes more of a damsel in distress. Her best friend Tara (Rutina Wesley) becomes a villainess’ puppet, while their boss Sam (Sam Trammell) is targeted as part of a connected supernatural scheme. The second season still has stirring drama; vampire sheriff Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) searches for his missing maker, the messiah-like Godric (Allan Hyde), and starts wooing Sookie in his own bizarre way.

In “True Blood,” the mythical monsters can be human and the humans can be unthinking beasts. It’s escapist, but it also dissects the complexities of the human psyche quite often.

Season 2 of “True Blood” airs daily on HBO Signature.

‘Wild’ imagination

Maurice Sendak’s adored book “Where the Wild Things Are” gets a dreamy and poignant cinematic translation by Spike Jonze and company, but it’s a tale that adults will appreciate more than kids. Progressing in a pace that might challenge the younger viewer, “Where the Wild Things Are” nevertheless transmits its heartfelt thoughts about generational divide and childhood apprehensions clearly. It’s easy to identify with the occasionally bratty but wildly imaginative Max (Max Records), who gets a better understanding of limitations in the realities he lives in and visits. The distinctly divided worlds of distressed grownups and emotive monsters blur into a dramatic contemplation of growth and filial bonds in this special undertaking.

“Where the Wild Things Are” is an Ayala Cinemas exclusive opening on Feb. 3.

The Other Avatar Movie

Nice-looking poster of live-action Aang and Zuko. I hope the movie doesn’t suck. Oh, it’s just called “The Last Airbender” now.

Familiar yet unconventional ‘Princess’

Some spoilers ahead.

The animated “The Princess and the Frog” recreates the magic formula of classic romance-adventure Disney cartoons while harnessing a contemporary vibe. Tiana is independent and determined, a young black waitress who dreams of running her own New Orleans restaurant. Things aren’t easy, and they’re about to get unbelievably difficult. One fateful day, she tries to turn a pleading frog back to human--a foreign prince, actually--by kissing it, but becomes a frog herself.

The journey is colorful and bouncy with music, but while the songs aren’t as memorable as the well-crafted ones from the hit Disney movie soundtracks of years past, there are some good lyric-driven tunes and playful numbers. And there are quirky, unique characters that join the frog couple’s quest, like the trumpet-playing alligator Louis and the romantic firefly Ray, who both add comedic and dramatic moments to the adventure. The ragtag band of swamp critters faces the villainy of the Shadow Man, a creepy, Jafar-like adversary.

One odd thing about it, though: Tiana is like the classic princesses Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, in the sense that she’s ultimately rescued by the dashing prince. Sure, she’s her own woman and all, capable of working for her own future and hardly a defenseless damsel, but she could’ve gotten a better ending.

But it’s still entertaining and empowering, and a nice return to a less visually “busy” animated style.

“The Princess and the Frog” opens February 3 in Metro Manila.

Triumvirate

1. I miss Conan. I remember watching him in 1996, when our cable was new. We got to watch the show twice a week, every Saturday and Sunday. It was easy to like him; he went out of his way to make people laugh with sketches that were just insane. I regularly looked forward to the show, excited in a way I never was for the preceding talk show, whose host I found bland and nowhere near as funny as Conan. It was great that JackTV eventually got the Late Night show and aired it five times a week, about five years ago.

Anyway, it’s been over a week since Conan left the Tonight Show. It’s still fun to see his “I’m With CoCo” Facebook page increasing by dozens every few minutes. As of this writing, there are 884,330 fans, people from all over that he entertained and inspired through the years.

2. I won a Where the Wild Things Are poster (the version below), signed by the director and cast, in a raffle held at last Friday’s preview screening. Cool poster. And what a sad but beautiful movie.

3. It’s been a good month for superhero comics. Secret Six is fun and crazy as usual, but I’m missing Nicola Scott. The JLA roster is changing, and it looks promising. And I love that Marvel’s Dark Reign is finally ending. It’s basically a retread of the original Thunderbolts’ first year; Norman Osborn and his villain posse masquerade as heroes, but that’s about to end with the Siege event. I like the related Avengers Initiative and Mighty Avengers stories. In three months, the Avengers books will be ending, to be followed by a revamp. Initiative is rumored to become “Avengers Academy.” Interesting.

‘24’ Season 7: No shortage of merciless villains for Jack Bauer

(Published January 31, PDI-Entertainment)

By Oliver M. Pulumbarit

Contributor

After a season of dreadfully predictable and rehashed storylines, action series “24” re-ignites with a renewed sense of immediacy in its seventh season. Kiefer Sutherland portrays iconic Jack Bauer once again, the no-nonsense agent who’s gotten really good at averting terrorist-caused catastrophes.

Season seven immediately starts with interesting revelations. CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) has been disbanded, so Jack learns of an impending attack from the FBI. Bauer’s former co-worker and friend Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard), long thought deceased, is alive and kicking, and may be masterminding a new terror attack. But Almeida is undercover and covertly working with former CTU do-gooders Chloe O’Brien (Mary Lynn Rajskub) and Bill Buchanan (James Morrison).

Just as intriguing is the concurrent arc involving new US President Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones). Initially unaware of a plot to destabilize her government from within, President Taylor is about to send troops to a chaotic African country. Calculated and vicious attacks soon threaten her, her family and countless Americans on that fateful day.

The cast of “24” is partly revitalized due to the addition of President Taylor, as well as FBI tech geek Janis Gold (Janeane Garofalo), and determined FBI agent Renee Walker (Annie Wersching). The new dynamics, especially the new characters’ interactions and uneasy alliances with Bauer, revive and spice up tension, reminding us that despite his continued defiance of rules, he relies heavily on the assistance of a few trustworthy allies.

The season doesn’t have a shortage of contemptible villains. Bauer regularly encounters merciless adversaries, from disposable henchmen to disguised assassins. But some of his most dangerous foes this time include General Juma (Tony Todd), whose forces took the President hostage inside the White House, and Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight), who commands a well-armed and imposing private army.

“24” is mostly well-paced, although there are a few cliffhangers that hardly pique interest for succeeding episodes, and scenarios that ultimately translate as unnecessary padding. Still, much has improved, and longtime fans will especially appreciate the return of familiar faces and continuity ties to previous seasons. While Jack Bauer may not change much, the character is clearly defined as a fallible, hardened hero, racing against time and doing whatever it takes to take down the most reprehensible miscreants of the day.

Season seven of “24” previously aired on C/S 9. Season eight airs Tuesdays, 8 p.m., on RPN-Solar TV.

Earth’s Mightiest III

My last Avengers set. These are drawings of the remaining members, including Jarvis, but excluding Moira Brandon.

EAST COAST AVENGERS: Members associated with the New York-based team. Mr. Fantastic, Sersi, Invisible Woman, Edwin Jarvis, Black Widow, Black Panther, Beast, Hellcat

WEST COAST AVENGERS: Some Wackos and related Avengers. Firebird, Human Torch, Vision, Machine Man, War Machine, Two-Gun Kid, Moon Knight, Living Lightning

FALLEN AVENGERS: The (temporarily) deceased ones. Captain Marvel, Thunderstrike, Dinah Soar, Marrina, Swordsman, Gilgamesh, Whizzer, Dr. Druid, Yellowjacket

NINETIES AVENGERS: Members inducted or active in the ‘90s. Stingray, Darkhawk, Sandman, Demolition Man, Magdalene, Iron Man (Teen Tony Stark), Swordsman, Deathcry, Masque

ASSEMBLED III

‘Tooth’ hurts

Man, The Rock in a tutu. More cringe-inspiring than cute, “Tooth Fairy” is another of Dwayne Johnson’s kid-friendly endeavors. He plays fading hockey player Derek Thompson, punished by fairies for dashing dreams. As a tooth fairy, he learns to respect people and fairies more, and makes others believe in their dreams. The End. Well, that’s pretty much it. It’s unabashedly goofy and corny, but kids that pay attention might pick up a thing or two about following dreams. Maybe.

Languid ‘Legion’

Angels we have heard on high, swarming bugs all o’er the plains. There’s angel-on-angel violence in “Legion,” which is a watered-down, fright-free mash-up of “The Prophecy,” “The Terminator,” and “Night of the Living Dead.” So, there’s a heaven-spawned conflict that spills over to earth, a prophesied child of importance, and a legion of zombie-like humans possessed by angels--angels! Paul Bettany portrays a former angel turned buff, badass mortal, who gives his enemies hell by shooting ‘em up. There’s a stunt sequence where his angel arch-foe does wing fu while Bettany’s character does Matrix acrobatics. That’s about it; scenes leading to, and after that confrontation don’t have as much energy or choreography. The apocalypse mythology is also very loosely done, making it hard to give a damn about this version of the end times.

Team Conan

“And I want to say to the kids out there watching, you can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.” -- Conan O’Brien, in last week’s Tonight Show monologue

I faved a few Conan drawings at DeviantArt, and posted one of my own (above) last night. I’ve been a fan of the guy for a long time, and Robert Smigel’s Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

The late night talk show debacle has led to some interesting jab-filled monologues, and I must admit that I’m enjoying them. David Letterman is making fun of Jay Leno and an NBC exec, while Leno jokes about Letterman’s intern fetish. I still feel sad about Conan’s situation, but I’m glad that Rosie O’Donnell, Patton Oswalt, and Howard Stern have spoken up and sided with him on the controversy (look for the audio recordings on YouTube). I listened to their take on the drama, and yeah, they pretty much paint Jay Leno as the Big Bad in all this.

I suddenly became a fan of Jimmy Kimmel’s, because he totally owned Leno during his “10 @ 10” appearance.

Leno: What’s the best prank you ever pulled?

Kimmel: I think the best prank I ever pulled was I told a guy that, five years from now, “I’m gonna give you my show.” And then when the five years came, I gave it to him, and then I took it back almost instantly.

Leno: Ever order anything off the TV?

Kimmel: Like NBC ordered your show off the TV?

Leno: What’s the most number of lapdances you’ve had in one night?

Kimmel: Strippers, I don’t like in general because you have this phony relationship with them for money, similar to that when you and Conan were on the Tonight Show together, passing the torch? You know what I’m saying.

- - - -

Man, Kimmel is awesome. Anyway, if Conan really does leave NBC soon, I hope his new show on another network does really well.

Unusual Defender of Gay Marriage

I enjoyed reading Republican Theodore Olson’s very articulate article, “The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage: Why same-sex marriage is an American value.” The author is speaking out against California’s anti-gay Prop 8. Some excerpts:

“The fact that individuals who happen to be gay want to share in this vital social institution is evidence that conservative ideals enjoy widespread acceptance. Conservatives should celebrate this, rather than lament it.”

“Preventing lesbians and gays from marrying does not cause more heterosexuals to marry and conceive more children. Likewise, allowing gays and lesbians to marry someone of the same sex will not discourage heterosexuals from marrying a person of the opposite sex. How, then, would allowing same-sex marriages reduce the number of children that heterosexual couples conceive?”

“Another argument, vaguer and even less persuasive, is that gay marriage somehow does harm to heterosexual marriage. I have yet to meet anyone who can explain to me what this means. In what way would allowing same-sex partners to marry diminish the marriages of heterosexual couples? Tellingly, when the judge in our case asked our opponent to identify the ways in which same-sex marriage would harm heterosexual marriage, to his credit he answered honestly: he could not think of any.”

“When we refuse to accord this status to gays and lesbians, we discourage them from forming the same relationships we encourage for others. And we are also telling them, those who love them, and society as a whole that their relationships are less worthy, less legitimate, less permanent, and less valued. We demean their relationships and we demean them as individuals. I cannot imagine how we benefit as a society by doing so.”

Read the entire article here.

Weird science, fun music mark ‘Phineas and Ferb’

(Published Jan. 15, PDI-Entertainment)

By Oliver M. Pulumbarit

Contributor

In the Disney cartoon series “Phineas and Ferb,” the titular characters are well-meaning genius stepbrothers whose super-inventions let them do practically anything. On separate occasions, they’ve built a city-wide roller coaster, constructed and ran a restaurant in their backyard, and even lifted the lost land of Atlantis from the ocean floor using their scientific creations.

“Phineas and Ferb” was co-created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who previously worked on other animated shows like “Rocko’s Modern Life” and “The Simpsons.”

Inquisitive Phineas and laconic Ferb are egghead siblings that get along. They quickly transform their outlandish ideas into reality, much to the annoyance of their older sister Candace, who thinks the brothers’ activities are potentially disastrous, or are getting her in trouble. But evidence of their big science adventures often conveniently and totally disappears.

The boys’ inventions aren’t always a secret. In the heartwarming “Mom’s Birthday” episode, they unintentionally upstage Candace’s birthday gifts with their hi-tech greeting card and other gadgets, but they let their sister shine by showing a video of her performing an original song called “Mom, It’s Your Birthday.”

The kids’ adventures are made livelier by catchy tunes, including the ‘80s-inspired “I’m Lindana And I Want To Have Fun” (sung by the kids’ mom, a one-hit wonder), and the touching ballad “Little Brothers” (which makes Candace recall good times with the younger kids). Songs help enhance the stories, adding depth to various characters’ perspectives.

Each episode of the family-friendly series also focuses on Phineas and Ferb’s pet platypus Perry, secretly Agent P, who pursues the mad scientist Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Agent P always thwarts his arch-foe’s nutty schemes, and returns to his unsuspecting owners near the end of every story.

Clean humor, charming music and “impossible” science add up to short but sweet episodes, a working formula that makes the colorful and feel-good “Phineas and Ferb” pleasantly diverting for kids and older viewers.

“Phineas and Ferb” airs nightly at 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Disney Channel.

Skittish ‘Squeakuel’

“Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” is cute but unmemorable. The squeaky little pop stars take a hiatus after a show-stopping accident sends their human guardian (Jason Lee) to the hospital. The cuddly critters go to school and are introduced to female counterparts, the Chipettes (who originally appeared in the ‘80s animated series).

Story elements are rehashed, while the situations are, understandably, kiddie cartoon-predictable. The song selection is semi-hip--the girls performed “Single Ladies” and “Hot N Cold” (but no, the line “you PMS like a bitch” wasn’t sung). The new version of “We Are Family,” while relevant to the movie’s sibling drama, isn’t a very catchy one. And like the first movie, “Squeakuel” ends rather abruptly (despite the extra comeuppance scene). It’s of little consequence, a diverting movie that tries to appease multiple demographics, but is ultimately one that they’ll forget about.

Titans Will Clash

My, what a spoiler-ish poster. But it looks damn good.

“Clash of the Titans” was among my favorite movies when I was a kid. I remember owning the action figure version of Thallo, a minor character. This new movie stars Sam Worthington and Liam Neeson as Perseus and Zeus, respectively. I do hope they have a modern version of Bubo the cute robot owl.

Rescuing a ‘New’ Avenger anew

Some spoilers ahead.

In New Avengers Annual # 3, another member is held captive by Norman Osborn and company. Shortly after the imprisonment and liberation of Luke Cage, Ronin attacks the Dark Avengers by himself, and is eventually captured (in The List: Avengers one-shot). This inspires practically the same divert-and-rescue tactic all over again, and the New Avengers embarrass Norman and the pseudo-heroes once more.

Be that as it may, it’s a solid issue with impressive art by Mike Mayhew and Andy Troy. What’s with the altered cover image, though? Jessica Jones’ face looks better in this promo piece (right) than in the final product, where she looks a little constipated.

Yes, Jessica Jones is back as Jewel, a nice, if unsurprising, addition to this Avengers team. It’s good to see her fighting alongside other tough heroines in this story.

The last page isn’t exactly a shocking cliffhanger, because anyone who knows about the Siege event knows about the return of a certain patriotic hero to the team. A good ending and a good read, just the same.

‘Sherlock’ owns

Clever and edgy, Guy Ritchie’s “Sherlock Holmes” re-imagines the brilliant detective in an adventure that brings him head to head with some of his most ingenious foes. Robert Downey, Jr.’s street-smart, dauntless Holmes marvels; the character’s inventive crime-solving methods and calculating mind are focused on, aside from his personality quirks. Downey is joined by Jude Law (as the questioning but devoted sidekick Dr. Watson), Rachel McAdams (as stealthy Irene Adler), and Mark Strong (as the mysterious Lord Blackwood). Enigmas are unraveled and/or debunked creatively and humorously, but a few story ideas are smartly left out, possibly to be explored later in a “Sherlock Holmes” sequel.

‘Zombieland’: Hilarious survival guide

Jesse Eisenberg reliably plays a geek again in “Zombieland,” but this time his virginal nerd follows his own set of rules to survive a world subjugated by an undead plague. Sidesplitting one moment and moving the next, the movie refreshingly caricatures the archetypal brainy loser, the badass action hero, the untrusting female, and the cunning kid. There are unnecessary sequences, and the climactic amusement park scenario unfolds and ends conventionally, but the non-stop irreverence and Bill Murray’s appearance make “Zombieland” a special treat.

‘Brave and the Bold’: A brighter, chummier Batman

(Published Dec. 31, 2009, PDI-Entertainment)

Based on the DC comics team-up book from several decades back, the animated TV series “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” has a friendlier, more easy-going Dark Knight. His adventures aren’t strictly confined to Gotham City this time, as Batman saves the world with some of the famous and obscure heroes of the DC Universe. Their temporary alliances are formidable, and they trounce some of the strangest and toughest super-foes.

The deliberate retro look utilizes a brighter color palette and more offbeat designs, giving the show a fun, playful vibe. This chummier Batman is more accessible to younger viewers, but is charming and solidly written enough that adults can enjoy it as well for its full half hour.

Voiced by Diedrich Bader (formerly of “The Drew Carey Show”), the latest incarnation is open to mentoring young new crime fighters, such as the Blue Beetle (in one episode, it’s said that Robin is grown up, and is the protector of another city). Batman is also more competitive this time; he has a friendly rivalry with recurring guest hero Green Arrow.

Both comic book geeks and the unfamiliar will appreciate the choice of team-ups. In a musical episode, the singing villain Music Meister (the excellent Neil Patrick Harris) is confronted by Batman and the fetching heroine Black Canary. In other engaging episodes, the Caped Crusader is joined by the space-faring Adam Strange, the shrinking adventurer Atom and the sea king Aquaman, among others. Opening sequences inventively compress other partnerships into exciting mini-adventures that run for only about two-and-a-half minutes.

While it’s nowhere as grand as the old “Justice League Unlimited” series, “Brave and the Bold” has its own tone, and focuses on variety. The mixing and matching works and the stand-alone episodes are easy to get into. Batman is part of a bigger whole here, and is glad to acknowledge it.

“Batman: The Brave and the Bold” airs Sundays, 9 p.m., and Mondays, 5 p.m. on Cartoon Network.